nothing to do with her and she never saw her son who worked in Spanish Town.She had only one friend-a woman called Maillotte,and Maillotte was not a Jamaican. The girls from the bayside who sometimes helped with the washing and cleaning were terrified of her.That,I soon discovered,was why they came at all-for she never paid them.Yet they brought presents of fruit and vegetables and after dark I often heard low voices from the kitchen. So I asked about Christophine.Was she very old?Had she always been with us? 'She was your father's wedding present to me-one of his presents.He though I would be pleased with a Martinique girl.I don't know how old she was when they brought her to Jamaica, quite young.I don't know how old she is now.Does it matter?Why do you pester and bother me about all these things that happened long ago?Christophine stayed with me because she wanted to stay.She had her own very good reasons you may be sure.I dare say we would have died if she'd turned against us and that would have been a better fate.To die and be forgotten and at peace.Not to know that one is abandoned,lied about,helpless.All the ones who died-who says a good word for them now?' 'Godfrey stayed too,'I said.'And Sass.' "They stayed,'she said angrily,because they wanted somewhere to sleep and something to eat.That boy Sass!When his mother pranced off and left him here-a great deal she cared-why he was a little skeleton.Now he's growing into a big strong boy and away he goes.We shan't see him again.Godfrey is a rascal.These new ones aren't too kind to old people and he knows it. That's why he stays.Doesn't do a thing but eat enough for a couple of horses.Pretends he's deaf. He isn't deaf-he doesn't want to hear.What a devil he is!' 'Why don't you tell him to find somewhere else to live?'I said and she laughed. 'He wouldn't go.He'd probably try to force us out.I've learned to let sleeping curs lie,' she said 'Would Christophine go if you told her to?'I thought.But I didn't say it.I was afraid to say it. It was too hot that afternoon.I could see the beads of perspiration on her upper lip and the dark circles under her eyes.I started to fan her,but she turned her head away.She might rest if I left her alone,she said. Once I would have gone back quietly to watch her asleep on the blue sofa-once I made excuses to be near her when she brushed her hair,a soft black cloak to cover me,hide me,keep me safe. But not any longer.Not any more. These were all the people in my life-my mother and Pierre,Christophine,Godfrey,and Sass who had left us. 第4页共88页nothing to do with her and she never saw her son who worked in Spanish Town. She had only one friend – a woman called Maillotte, and Maillotte was not a Jamaican. The girls from the bayside who sometimes helped with the washing and cleaning were terrified of her. That, I soon discovered, was why they came at all – for she never paid them. Yet they brought presents of fruit and vegetables and after dark I often heard low voices from the kitchen. So I asked about Christophine. Was she very old? Had she always been with us? ‘She was your father’s wedding present to me – one of his presents. He though I would be pleased with a Martinique girl. I don’t know how old she was when they brought her to Jamaica, quite young. I don’t know how old she is now. Does it matter? Why do you pester and bother me about all these things that happened long ago? Christophine stayed with me because she wanted to stay. She had her own very good reasons you may be sure. I dare say we would have died if she’d turned against us and that would have been a better fate. To die and be forgotten and at peace. Not to know that one is abandoned, lied about, helpless. All the ones who died – who says a good word for them now?’ ‘Godfrey stayed too,’ I said. ‘And Sass.’ ‘They stayed,’ she said angrily, ‘because they wanted somewhere to sleep and something to eat. That boy Sass! When his mother pranced off and left him here – a great deal she cared – why he was a little skeleton. Now he’s growing into a big strong boy and away he goes. We shan’t see him again. Godfrey is a rascal. These new ones aren’t too kind to old people and he knows it. That’s why he stays. Doesn’t do a thing but eat enough for a couple of horses. Pretends he’s deaf. He isn’t deaf – he doesn’t want to hear. What a devil he is!’ ‘Why don’t you tell him to find somewhere else to live?’ I said and she laughed. ‘He wouldn’t go. He’d probably try to force us out. I’ve learned to let sleeping curs lie,’ she said. ‘Would Christophine go if you told her to?’ I thought. But I didn’t say it. I was afraid to say it. It was too hot that afternoon. I could see the beads of perspiration on her upper lip and the dark circles under her eyes. I started to fan her, but she turned her head away. She might rest if I left her alone, she said. Once I would have gone back quietly to watch her asleep on the blue sofa – once I made excuses to be near her when she brushed her hair, a soft black cloak to cover me, hide me, keep me safe. But not any longer. Not any more. These were all the people in my life – my mother and Pierre, Christophine, Godfrey, and Sass who had left us. 第4 页共88页