17.You won't be disappointed with the many electronic services we now offer.(to make it positive) 18.Reference is made to your May 7 letter in which you describe the approved procedure for initiating a claim.(to make it conversational) 19.It has been determined by the staff that our process of check verification for customers must be simplified.(to make it simple and clear) 20.It is obvious that these procedures are very crucial.(to make it concise) 21.I understand that you offer employee testing materials,and I have a number of questions to ask.(to improve the directness) 22.We wish to let you know that we fully appreciate the confidence you have reposed in our product,which as you are aware is well recognized for its good quality.(to improve the conciseness) 23.Come join our company,where the pay is high,.working conditions are pleasant, and to succeed is possible.(to improve parallelism) 24.Members of the team have take into consideration every one of the factors that has the capacity to affect the purchase.(to improve the vigor and directness) I.Revise the following E-mail message.And the formatting of the message is to be scored.(30 ·points) 25. TO:Mindy Latimer,Manager You are still not giving my division an opportunity to expand by allowing it to produce the new cordless telephone. I cannot believe that you selected Fred's division to develop.the product.It seems that his division is always getting the breaks.His division already has responsibility for eight products while mine only has four. You need to reconsider your decision.I would like to.supervise the production of the new telephones. 172617. You won' t be disappointed with the many electronic services we now offer. ( to make it positive) 18. Reference is made to your May 7 letter in which you describe the approved procedure for initiating a claim. (to make it conversational) 19. It has been determined by the staff that our process of check verification for customers must be simplified. (to make it simple and clear) 20. It is obvious that these procedures are very crucial. (tomake it concise) 21. I understand that you offer employee testing materials,and I have a number of questions to ask. (to improve the directness) 22. We wish to let you know that we fully.appreciate the confidence you have reposed in our product , which as you are awareis well recognized for its goodquality. (to improve the conciseness) 23. Come join our company , where the pay is high , working conditions are pleasant, and to succeed is possible. (to improve parallelism) 24. Members of the team have take into consideration everyone of the factors that has the capacity to affect the purchase. (to improve the vigor anddirectness) n.Revise the following E-mail message. And the formatting of tb垂m臼sage is to be scor (30 points) 25. TO I Mindy Latimer, Manager You 且re still not giving my division an opportunity to expand by allowing it to produce the new cordless telephone. I cannot believe that you selected Fred's division to develop, ~he product. It seems that his division is always getting the breaks. His division already has responsibility for eight products while mine only has four. You need to reconsider your decision. I would like t() supervise the production of the new telephorl'es. 1726