because I always have a tendency to placate people whom I dislike for no good reason,or simply do not want to know.I make elaborate offerings of courtesy sometimes,in the foolish hope that they will go away and leave me alone. Para.23:"What you want is a nice easy chair to sit in,while you're waiting for inspiration to hit. I've got a chair down in the basement,all kinds of stuff down there since my mother passed on last year. There's a bit of carpet rolled up in a corner down there,it isn't doing anybody any good.We could get this place fixed up so's it'd be a lot more homelike for you." Para.24:But really,I said,but really I like it as it is. Para.25:"If you wanted to run up some curtains,I'd pay you for the material.Place needs a touch of colour,I'm afraid you'll get morbid sitting in here." Para.26:Oh,no,I said,and laughed,I'm sure I won't. Para.27:"It'd be a different story if you was a man.A woman wants things a bit cosier." Para.28:So I got up and went to the window and looked down into the empty Sunday street through the slats of the Venetian blind,to avoid the accusing vulnerability of his fat face and I tried out a cold voice that is to be heard frequently in my thoughts but has great difficulty getting out of my cowardly mouth."Mr Malley,please don't bother me about this any more.I said it suits me.I have everything I want.Thanks for showing me about the light." Para.29:The effect was devastating enough to shame me."I certainly wouldn't dream of bothering you,"he said,with precision of speech and aloof sadness."I merely made these suggestions for your comfort.Had I realized I was in your way,I would of left some time ago."When he had gone I felt better, even a little exhilarated at my victory though still ashamed of how easy it had been.I told myself that he would have had to be discouraged sooner or later,it was better to have it over with at the beginning. Para.30:The following weekend he knocked on my door.His expression of humility was exaggerated,almost enough so to seem mocking,yet in another sense it was real and I felt unsure of myself. Para.31:"I won't take up a minute of your time,"he said."I never meant to be a nuisance.I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry I offended you last time and I apologize.Here's a little present if you will accept.” Para.32:He was carrying a plant whose name I did not know;it had thick,glossy leaves and grew out of a pot wrapped lavishly in pink and silver foil. Para.33:"There,"he said,arranging this plant in a corner of my room."I don't want any bad feelings with you and me.I'll take the blame.And I thought,maybe she won't accept furnishings,but what's the matter with a nice little plant,that'll brighten things up for you." Para.34:It was not possible for me,at this moment,to tell him that I did not want a plant.I hate house plants.He told me how to take care of it,how often to water it and so on;I thanked him.There was nothing else I could do,and I had the unpleasant feeling that beneath his offering of apologies and gifts he was well aware of this and in some way gratified by it.He kept on talking,using the words bad feelings, offended,apologize.I tried once to interrupt,with the idea of explaining that I had made provision for an area in my life where good feelings,or bad,did not enter in,that between him and me,in fact,it was not necessary that there be any feelings at all;but this struck me as a hopeless task.How could I confront,in the open,this craving for intimacy?Besides,the plant in its shiny paper had confused me.4 because I always have a tendency to placate people whom I dislike for no good reason, or simply do not want to know. I make elaborate offerings of courtesy sometimes, in the foolish hope that they will go away and leave me alone. Para.23: “What you want is a nice easy chair to sit in, while you’re waiting for inspiration to hit. I’ve got a chair down in the basement, all kinds of stuff down there since my mother passed on last year. There’s a bit of carpet rolled up in a corner down there, it isn’t doing anybody any good. We could get this place fixed up so’s it’d be a lot more homelike for you.” Para.24: But really, I said, but really I like it as it is. Para.25: “If you wanted to run up some curtains, I’d pay you for the material. Place needs a touch of colour, I’m afraid you’ll get morbid sitting in here.” Para.26: Oh, no, I said, and laughed, I’m sure I won’t. Para.27: “It’d be a different story if you was a man. A woman wants things a bit cosier.” Para.28: So I got up and went to the window and looked down into the empty Sunday street through the slats of the Venetian blind, to avoid the accusing vulnerability of his fat face and I tried out a cold voice that is to be heard frequently in my thoughts but has great difficulty getting out of my cowardly mouth. “Mr. Malley, please don’t bother me about this any more. I said it suits me. I have everything I want. Thanks for showing me about the light.” Para.29: The effect was devastating enough to shame me. “I certainly wouldn’t dream of bothering you,” he said, with precision of speech and aloof sadness. “I merely made these suggestions for your comfort. Had I realized I was in your way, I would of left some time ago.” When he had gone I felt better, even a little exhilarated at my victory though still ashamed of how easy it had been. I told myself that he would have had to be discouraged sooner or later, it was better to have it over with at the beginning. Para.30: The following weekend he knocked on my door. His expression of humility was exaggerated, almost enough so to seem mocking, yet in another sense it was real and I felt unsure of myself. Para.31: “I won’t take up a minute of your time,” he said. “I never meant to be a nuisance. I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry I offended you last time and I apologize. Here’s a little present if you will accept.”Para.32: He was carrying a plant whose name I did not know; it had thick, glossy leaves and grew out of a pot wrapped lavishly in pink and silver foil. Para.33: “There,” he said, arranging this plant in a corner of my room. “I don’t want any bad feelings with you and me. I’ll take the blame. And I thought, maybe she won’t accept furnishings, but what’s the matter with a nice little plant, that’ll brighten things up for you.” Para.34: It was not possible for me, at this moment, to tell him that I did not want a plant. I hate house plants. He told me how to take care of it, how often to water it and so on; I thanked him. There was nothing else I could do, and I had the unpleasant feeling that beneath his offering of apologies and gifts he was well aware of this and in some way gratified by it. He kept on talking, using the words bad feelings, of ended, apologize. I tried once to interrupt, with the idea of explaining that I had made provision for an area in my life where good feelings, or bad, did not enter in, that between him and me, in fact, it was not necessary that there be any feelings at all; but this struck me as a hopeless task. How could I confront, in the open, this craving for intimacy? Besides, the plant in its shiny paper had confused me