Freeman and Ward/ DEATH AND BEREAVEMENT 217 Not one of us can escape the certainty that grief will live within our hearts It some time during our lives In the absence of, or often in addition to, perceived social support some of the bereaved will turn to counseling professionals to guide them through the most painful moments in their lives(Lenhardt, 1997; Ruskay 1996: Worden, 1991). Yet, training in grief counseling is not typically part of a counselor's education This article provides an overview of the griev- ng process and what counselors should know Bowlby's Attachment Theory and ideas on loss and grieving provide a framework for the counselor to use in assessing grief reactions Using Bowlby's Attachment Theory as a basis to look at the grieving process is in line with the york of a number of prominent grief researchers J. William Worden( 1991). Beverly Raphael (1983), and Colin Parkes(1990) are among the many who have drawn upon his ideas in the formulation of their own theories of grieving. Attachment behaviors are instinctive behaviors that have as their goal maintaining contact with another individual (in children thereby insuring survival). It is the purpose of attachment behavior to maintain an affe tional bond. Situations that threaten this bond give rise to certain ver specific behaviors. The greater the potential for loss the more intense the behavioral response(Bowlby. 1977) Konrad Lorenz(as cited in Parks, 1972) described grief-like behavior n the separation of a goose from its mate The first response to the disappearance of the partner consists in the anxious attempt to find him again. The goose moves about restlessly by day and night, flying great dis tances and visiting places where the partner might be found. uttering all the time the penetrating trisyllabic long-distance call. The searching expeditions are extended arther and farther and quite often the searcher itself gets lost, or succumbs to an ccident.. All the objective observable characteristics of the goose's behavior on losing its mate are roughly identical with humans (p. 40) NORMAL GRIEVING Within normal grieving, there is a wide range of behaviors. Clayton, Desmaris, and Winokur (1968) found that common reactions included depressed mood, sleep disturbance, crying, and difficulty concentrating Worden(1991)expanded the list of normal reactions to include anxiety loneliness, fatigue, helplessness, shock, yearning, emancipation, relief. numbness, disbelief, confusion, preoccupation, sense of presence. halluci ations, sleep and appetite disturbance, dreams, and overactivity It is important to remember that what may be dysfunctional in one individ ual may not be in another. Conway(1988)describes a son who thought his mother was going crazy. The woman said that on occasion, her husband Reproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permissionReproduced with permission of the copyright owner. Further reproduction prohibited without permission