The Onion Housemates Reject Third-Roommate Debt-Relief Plan Page 3 of 3 bring an end to the spiraling third-roommate debt a more radical concept was troduced by an outspoken Chad advocate Epsteins girlfriend Liz Borowitz Liz was all over me about how i gotta be there for my bud e,Epstein said. She's, like this total softie who rescues cats and sl comes up with the bright idea that me and Doug should just forgive all and let Chad start over on an even playing field. I was like, ' T'm sorry there's no way in hell... humanitarian policies are not bailing Chad out. It hardly ble does it? Doogan implored Huygens and Epstein to reconsider their decision Above: Doogan makes a request for immediate How' m I supposed to better myself when all these forces are keeping me down? " Doogan said. "If I dont get out from under this debt, I can't pay tuition next semester and provide myself with an education. I'm under serious risk of reverting to living in my parents' basement, under their totalitarian regime. These dudes are my buddies-can't they see I'm the victim of macroeconomic forces I'm powerless to overcome? Jeez EME-MAIL THIS PAGE LASSY Domains$8.95andlower@Godaddy.Com WebHostingforSmartPeople--pair.com Get 12 CDs for the price of 1-from BMG a the ONION. Weekly Dispatch Get $25 Bonus at Party Poker-Code ONION25 COMs for Smart People pairNIC com Enter your email address belot ALL YOUR FOOTBALL ACTION-BET NOW! Moviefone: Showtimes, Trailers& Tickets! to sign up for our weekly newsletter unniest T-Shirts Hotels Hotel reviews - Zoom and i FreeCouponsbyemaIl-couponCabin.com Find a dentist and save 60 3 Copyright 2004, Onion, Inc, All rights reserved Contact us Help/FAQ Privacy Policy Media kit The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. http://www.theonion.com/news/indexphp?issue=4045&n=3 /11/2004bring an end to the spiraling third-roommate debt, a more radical concept was introduced by an outspoken Chad advocate, Epstein's girlfriend Liz Borowitz. "Liz was all over me about how I gotta be there for my buddy when he needs me," Epstein said. "She's, like, this total softie who rescues cats and shit. So she comes up with the bright idea that me and Doug should just forgive all the loans and let Chad start over on an even playing field. I was like, 'I'm sorry, Liz, but there's no way in hell...'" Added Epstein: "Liz is super nice, but her idealist humanitarian policies are not financially sound. We set a dangerous precedent by bailing Chad out. It hardly motivates future roommates to be fiscally responsible, does it?" Doogan implored Huygens and Epstein to reconsider their decision. "How'm I supposed to better myself when all these forces are keeping me down?" Doogan said. "If I don't get out from under this debt, I can't pay tuition next semester and provide myself with an education. I'm under serious risk of reverting to living in my parents' basement, under their totalitarian regime. These dudes are my buddies—can't they see I'm the victim of macroeconomic forces I'm powerless to overcome? Jeez." Above: Doogan makes a request for immediate humanitarian aid. Sponsor Links Newsletters Enter your email address below to sign up for our weekly newsletter! More information Submit Domains $8.95 and lower @ GoDaddy.com Web Hosting for Smart People -- pair.com Get $25 Bonus at PartyPoker - Code ONION25 ALL YOUR FOOTBALL ACTION - BET NOW! I TOUCH MY ELF. Funniest T-Shirts Free Coupons by eMail - CouponCabin.com Gangstabear.com order online Get 12 CDs for the price of 1 - from BMG! .COMs for Smart People @ pairNIC.com Moviefone: Showtimes, Trailers & Tickets! Hotels & Hotel Reviews -- Zoom And Go Find a Dentist and Save 60% © Copyright 2004, Onion, Inc., All rights reserved. Contact Us Help/FAQ Privacy Policy Media Kit The Onion ® is not intended for readers under 18 years of age. The Onion | Housemates Reject Thir d-Roommate Debt-Relief Plan Pa ge 3 of 3 http://www.theonion.com/news/index. p h p?issue=4045&n=3 11/11/2004