Missing the Marital Transition 833 for when transitions should occur and have con- Expectations about marital timing among cluded that cultural timetables are fexible women are likely to be tied closely to expecta- (Settersten,1997)and that late entry into family tions about the timing of childbearing(Ferguson, transitions has been perceived as generally 2000).Most middle-class women expect to marry acceptable (Settersten Hagestad,1996a).In before they bear children,but as they age and time addition,people do not think that there are serious for childbearing becomes shorter,some women negative consequences for those who experi- reconsider such expectations (Lewis Moon, enced family transitions later than normatively 1997).Even women who opted to have children expected(Settersten Hagestad).It is not clear without a husband hoped to marry eventually if there are sanctions for missing a family transi- (Bock.2000). tion altogether,however. In general,researchers have found that women The few researchers who have asked never- over age 35 were not as likely to expect to marry married women about negative consequences as were women younger than 35 years(Ferguson. related to missing the transition to marriage found 2000;Tucker Mitchell-Kernan,1998).Single that they felt stigmatized (e.g.,Fuller,2001; women in Dalton's (1992)sample,who ranged Lewis Moon,1997)and uncomfortable in so- in age from 32 to 54 years,had expected to be cial settings because they did not fit into a couple- married when they were younger;most reported oriented culture(Chasteen,1994).Some negative feeling desperate about being single when they social consequences may be manifested in intra- were younger,but over time they altered personal ways;never-married women have their expectations and "learned to respect and described themselves missing the connectedness value themselves as single women"(p.74).It that they believe marriage might offer(Bock, could be that lowered expectations for marriage 2000;Lewis Moon),feeling loss and grief as women age reflect their realistic assessment (Fuller),feeling a sense of "rootlessness" of their decreased likelihood to marry.As women (Dalton,1992,p.76),and feeling intense distress age,the number of available mates decreases about being single (Cole,1999).In the case of (Cherlin,1992).Alternatively,it could be that “missing”the marital transition,.women may as women age,marriage becomes less desirable be likely to experience uncertainty about their because it compromises freedom(South,1993), futures,challenging their movement toward they become more comfortable with being single achieving life goals (Fuller). (Ferguson),and their attention turns to careers or There may be personal benefits as well as costs community (O'Brien,1991). to never marrying,however.In earlier studies, never-married women reported that they enjoyed Choosing to remain single.The issue of choos- their independence (Bock,2000;Lewis Moon, ing not to marry is complex.Researchers have re- 1997;Siegel,1995),were content(Fuller,2001), ported that the majority of women who never and had healthy self-images and fulfilling lives married considered themselves single by choice (Cole,1999).Never-married women have per- because they had not met anyone they wanted ceived personal growth to be a benefit of never to marry (e.g.,Dalton,1992;Fuller,2001;Lewis having married (Dalton,1992:Fuller). &Moon,1997).Other women“floated into” (Gordon,1994,p.54)singlehood on the basis Missing the transition.Despite the growing pro- of decisions they made when younger or because portions of women marrying later,never-married circumstances had not led to marriage.Reflecting women in their late 20s and early 30s are out of on their lives in late adulthood,never-married sync with their peers because most of their peers women in O'Brien's(1991)sample had not con- have married.It would be slightly misleading to sciously decided to avoid marriage;they "let consider these never-married women as off-time nature take its course"(p.310). because off-time refers to individuals who Young adults are living through a period of actually experienced the transition of interest time in which women have increased opportuni- but did so earlier or later than the majority of ties for and choices about how to structure their their peers (Elder,1998).Because these women life courses,and yet traditional notions encourag- are in their late 20s and early 30s,they may be ing marriage,motherhood,and sequencing mar- said to have“missed”the marital transition. riage before motherhood remain strong and Having missed the transition is ambiguous, pervasive.Such conditions are argued to be however,because they may yet marry off-time. related to the paradoxical modernity of the lifefor when transitions should occur and have con￾cluded that cultural timetables are flexible (Settersten, 1997) and that late entry into family transitions has been perceived as generally acceptable (Settersten & Hagestad, 1996a). In addition, people do not think that there are serious negative consequences for those who experi￾enced family transitions later than normatively expected (Settersten & Hagestad). It is not clear if there are sanctions for missing a family transi￾tion altogether, however. The few researchers who have asked never￾married women about negative consequences related to missing the transition to marriage found that they felt stigmatized (e.g., Fuller, 2001; Lewis & Moon, 1997) and uncomfortable in so￾cial settings because they did not fit into a couple￾oriented culture (Chasteen, 1994). Some negative social consequences may be manifested in intra￾personal ways; never-married women have described themselves missing the connectedness that they believe marriage might offer (Bock, 2000; Lewis & Moon), feeling loss and grief (Fuller), feeling a sense of ‘‘rootlessness’’ (Dalton, 1992, p. 76), and feeling intense distress about being single (Cole, 1999). In the case of ‘‘missing’’ the marital transition, women may be likely to experience uncertainty about their futures, challenging their movement toward achieving life goals (Fuller). There may be personal benefits as well as costs to never marrying, however. In earlier studies, never-married women reported that they enjoyed their independence (Bock, 2000; Lewis & Moon, 1997; Siegel, 1995), were content (Fuller, 2001), and had healthy self-images and fulfilling lives (Cole, 1999). Never-married women have per￾ceived personal growth to be a benefit of never having married (Dalton, 1992; Fuller). Missing the transition. Despite the growing pro￾portions of women marrying later, never-married women in their late 20s and early 30s are out of sync with their peers because most of their peers have married. It would be slightly misleading to consider these never-married women as off-time because off-time refers to individuals who actually experienced the transition of interest but did so earlier or later than the majority of their peers (Elder, 1998). Because these women are in their late 20s and early 30s, they may be said to have ‘‘missed’’ the marital transition. Having missed the transition is ambiguous, however, because they may yet marry off-time. Expectations about marital timing among women are likely to be tied closely to expecta￾tions about the timing of childbearing (Ferguson, 2000). Most middle-class women expect to marry before they bear children, but as they age and time for childbearing becomes shorter, some women reconsider such expectations (Lewis & Moon, 1997). Even women who opted to have children without a husband hoped to marry eventually (Bock, 2000). In general, researchers have found that women over age 35 were not as likely to expect to marry as were women younger than 35 years (Ferguson, 2000; Tucker & Mitchell-Kernan, 1998). Single women in Dalton’s (1992) sample, who ranged in age from 32 to 54 years, had expected to be married when they were younger; most reported feeling desperate about being single when they were younger, but over time they altered their expectations and ‘‘learned to respect and value themselves as single women’’ (p. 74). It could be that lowered expectations for marriage as women age reflect their realistic assessment of their decreased likelihood to marry. As women age, the number of available mates decreases (Cherlin, 1992). Alternatively, it could be that as women age, marriage becomes less desirable because it compromises freedom (South, 1993), they become more comfortable with being single (Ferguson), and their attention turns to careers or community (O’Brien, 1991). Choosing to remain single. The issue of choos￾ing not to marry is complex. Researchers have re￾ported that the majority of women who never married considered themselves single by choice because they had not met anyone they wanted to marry (e.g., Dalton, 1992; Fuller, 2001; Lewis & Moon, 1997). Other women ‘‘floated into’’ (Gordon, 1994, p. 54) singlehood on the basis of decisions they made when younger or because circumstances had not led to marriage. Reflecting on their lives in late adulthood, never-married women in O’Brien’s (1991) sample had not con￾sciously decided to avoid marriage; they ‘‘let nature take its course’’ (p. 310). Young adults are living through a period of time in which women have increased opportuni￾ties for and choices about how to structure their life courses, and yet traditional notions encourag￾ing marriage, motherhood, and sequencing mar￾riage before motherhood remain strong and pervasive. Such conditions are argued to be related to the paradoxical modernity of the life Missing the Marital Transition 833