30 XP1+9W/2 African Polygyny Family Values and Contemporary Changes Philip L. Kilbride Marriage is a cultural universal, although particular among Mormons and has also studied a phenomenon forms of marriage and family structure vary through- called"man sharing" in the African American com- out the world. In the United States, polygamy, or plu- munity. It is a controversial topic that has led him to ral marriage illegal. People have very strong some TV talk shows. But for an anthropologist to stir feelings about what marriage is supposed to be like The ideal of romantic love and lifelong monogamous marriage between people who are intimate compan- As you read this selection, ask yourself the following Ions-even nt theme in questions American culture. Yet in all societies, including our own, there are significant differences between the Why do americans think that polygamy is sociocultural ideals and social realities. Divorce is se immoral? common in american society that many anthropolo Is the author correct in saying that American men gists and sociologists say that we actually practice ht be mildly for polygyny but American serial monogamy; that is, we have more than one men are strongly against it? Why would this spouse but not at the same time. The nature of mar- riage is also being debated in our society in regard to u Even in societies that allow polygyny, most peo- gay and lesbian couples and adoption of children by e in monogamous marriages. The author says that this is because polygyny is too expen In this selection, Philip Kilbride argues that mar- sive. What social functions does marriage serve riage has much more to do with children and com that involve economic resources? munity than it does with sex. Divorce, he says, has negative effects on childrens psychological and eco- a Would the problem of deadbeat dads go away if polygyny were an option? nomic well-being. Deadbeat dads who fail to pay court-ordered child support are a major cause of the Why do Africans see the American marriage sys- impoverishment of single-parent households and are a tem, with its high frequency of divorce, as inferior national disgrace. Teenage pregnancy is yet another to traditional polygyny? Is this really from the problem to contend with chid’ s perspective? From the childs point of view, is it better to have blended families linked through plural marriages? In The following terms discussed in this selection are contemporary Africa, this subject raises lively discus- included in the Glossary at the back of the book sion-in part because it pits traditional culture against extended family polygy Christian morality and in part because marriage struc ture is a critical factor for understanding gender rela erial monogan tions. Kilbride has examined polygyny in Africa and polygamy 206
AFRICAN POLYGYNY: FAMILY VALUES AND CONTEMPORARY CHANGES 207 RETHINKING POLYGAMY pe, the "primary marriage, is arranged by parents prior to the couple's adolescence. "Second marriage" In the Western world today, the term marriage is is arranged later by the couple itself. When a woman defined as a social institution that legally joins one leaves her primary husband and goes to a secondary man and one woman at the same time; that is, it is syn- husband or later on to still another secondary hus- onymous with monogamy. Nevertheless, anthropolo- band, she leaves behind everything except the clothes gists define marriage more broadly as to include and jewelry she is wearing. She may be fetched back cultural variation, such as number of mates, at the by her former husband, or she may decide to stay and same time recognizing the universal function of mar- take up residence with her new husband, who then iage as a public contract that makes socially legiti provides her with a house and everything she needs mate any offspring resulting from the marital union or for housekeeping. The traditional Irigwe marriage sys- unions. Anthropologists tell us that monogamy is the tem has no divorce. A woman's prior marriages are norm around the world(Fisher 1992). This assertion is not terminated by her switching residence to another correct in the pragmatic sense because even in cultures spouse. At any point in time, she may return to any of that permit polygyny, or marriage between one man her spouses and resume residence with him. Paternity and more than one woman at a time the majority of settled by consensus, and a husband competes w individuals, in actuality, are married monogamously his wifes other husbands for the paternity of the child Nevertheless, in the majority of the worlds cultures, she bears polygyny exists along with monogamy as a viable Advocates for Euro-American polygamy have met and, in many cases, ideal form of marriage. Ford and with stiff resistance. For example, the great nineteenth- Beach (1951), for example, found that in 84 percent of century explorer Captain Richard Francis Burton the 185 cultures they studied, men were permitted to shocked and angered the Victorians by writing openly have more than one wife at a time. One common mis- about sexual matters. He also angered his wife with conception in the West about polygyny is that its func- his private opinions concerning polygamy. Neverthe- tion is primarily one of sexual gratification. That this is less, he believed that polygamy would help keep fam not the case can be derived from the sociology of ilies stable, lessen the need for prostitutes, and help polygynous family life, which reveals that in all cul the single wife with her many household chores cures in which polygyny is practiced, there are a num- Although Victorians may not have understood Bur- ber of commonalities. Ideally, for example, work is tons opinion, it is probably fair to say that most Irigwe divided evenly among wives; the fair practice visiting men and women would have agreed with him rule requires the husband to visit each wife equally wives usually have separate houses and sleeping quarters; and the first wife is given the most respected AFRICAN POLYGYNY AS A CULTURAL VALUE status of senior wife One of the best-known cases of polygyny comes In her research on family structure among the Yoruba from the Islamic religion. An important ordinance in of Nigeria, Sudarkasa(1982)describes the typical situ Islam provides limits on the institution of polygyny: ation. Whether or not a husband is polygynous, he has "And if you fear that you cannot act equitably toward his own room separate from that of his wife or wives orphans, then marry such women as seem good to you, who, in turn, have their own rooms and their own 2, 3, or 4, or if you fear you will not do justice(between household belongings. Although separated physically That your right hand at times, the polygynous family should be thought of possesses"(the Koran 4: 3 ). Polygyny, in this case, can s one family, not as separate families sharing a com- not be understood apart from community obligations mon husband. Sudarkasa points out that the latter toward widows and children. The actual practice view would rule out the very significant role that the allows considerable variation, although as set forth as senior wife plays in the polygynous family. The senior a religious ideology in the Koran, its basis is under- stood best in a humanitarian, communitarian context. wives, and she sometimes serves as an intermediary Polyandry, found in less than 1 percent of the between her cowives and their common husband worlds cultures, always exists in combination with Wives of the same husband frequently cooperate in polygyny. Among the Irigwe of Nigeria ( Sangree economic activities. Distinction is made between chil- 1969), there are two basic types of marriage. The first dren of the same father and children of the same mother by the same father Sudarkasa emphasizes that for certain purposes, a mother and her children consti- tute a"subunit within the family, but they do not con Reprinted by permission of the author stitute a separate unit within the family(p. 142)
208 MARRIAGE AND GENDER RELATIONS After her many years of studying African social could understand why he might be thought of favor- organization, it is her opinion that widespread in ably by his family, friends, and colleagues. They were frica is the preference for a system of cowives rather therefore somewhat shocked and dismayed when he than one where women bear children outside of mar- mentioned to the group that he was thinking about riage or where women may choose to live as childless taking a second wife. With such a charming, intelli- spinsters. In Africa, spinsterhood would be perceived rent and attractive wife at home, the students espe as very much outside the normal range of human cially could not understand why he should be contemplating this. He explained that he was getting a The anthropological literature frequently reports lot of pressure from his mother to do so because she that African cultures in fact value polygyny; however, was all alone in the rural area and needed someone to some evidence suggests that this may be primarily a help her farm. His mother also stated that there were males point of view. At a minimum, this requires us to many single women in her village who needed hus- consider a possible gender bias in this generalizatic bands, and she wanted grandchildren who would live There is evidence that women, in fact, do traditionally near or with her rather than far away in the city. This value polygyny. There is also evidence that suggests mans wife opposed the idea because she was afraid that men value it even more. There is also strong that there would then not be enough money to pay for dence that modernizing or Westernizing women most her own childrens school fees. Besides, the second likely value it not at all. We will consider some evi wife might want to come to the city to live also. He dence in this direction, since the gender question has said that he told his wife that he would make sure that occurred over and over again when polygyny is con- he stayed on the farm. One African man whe sidered in any particular cultural context. Sudarkasa matically supported monogamy stated that there was writes that before being bombarded with Western no way to guarantee that the second wife wouldnt propaganda against polygyny, African women valued want to come to the city. He stated that he might con the companionship of cowives. In fact, in one study of sider polygyny himself if he could insure that one Nigerian women conducted within the last 15 years, a would stay in the rural area, but he didn't think that majority of the women interviewed stated that they was probable would be"pleased"to have a second wife in the home For the sake of t (and because one migh (Ware 1979). The negative bias of some Western- accept the practice of polygyny under the right cir educated African women toward polygyny cannot, cumstances), the professor asked whether a"feminist" Sudarkasa emphasizes, be taken as indicative of the perspective shouldnt look favorably on this man traditional attitude toward it. On many occasions, female students from Bryn his mother, should he decide to marry a second wife. Mawr College have been taken to Uganda and Kenya, To make more salient to the students the cultural influ where they lived with families in both urban and rural ence on their negative attitudes toward polygyny, locations. When the subject of polygyny has been another dimension to our cross-cultural discussion of introduced into our"theoretical"discussions, these marriage was added. The group was asked their opin- highly educated students who, by their academic ion of two men marrying each other and adopting chil- training, are sympathe etic toward and knowledgeable dren. While the two students, in conformity with their about cultural variation, uniformly expressed unfa liberal ideology and anthropological training, felt that vorable comments concerning the practice or even the this would be perfectly reasonable, the reaction of the oncept of polygyny in our initial discussions. A con- African males present was one of stunned silence fol versation that took place in a Nairobi pub one evening lowed by asking the professor to repeat what their ears is a good illustration of the cultural gap between could not have heard correctly. When he did so, these Western-educated male and female values and East men, who had just been divided on the question of African male values concerning polygyny polygyny, laughed heartily and stated that this would Two female students had been living in the home be impossible because it was not natural. Their dise- of one of the married Kenyan men present in the pub lief and laughter at what to them was such a culturally with us. They had quickly become attached to his wife dissonant idea were still evident on the way home and children and sympathized with her when her hus- band was not present at dinnertime because, many urban Kenyan men, he stopped regularly POLYGAMY AND GENDER pub after work before going home. Nevertheless, they could see that he was a good father and provider for While there appears to be a female bias against the his family. Although not meeting their Western ideal institution of polygamy among Western-educated of the"husbandly role, they liked him very much and women, including those in Africa, there is consider-
AFRICAN POLYGYNY: FAMILY VALUES AND CONTEMPORARY CHANGE 209 able evidence that traditional african women do value third wife these two wives would then be informed so polygyny, at least under certain circumstances. At this that they could help to look for someone with whom time, it may be informative for us to consider some of they would wish to share their lives and work. Women he evidence for this contention those Africans who felt that the most common reason a wife would advise have written in praise of polygyny have invariably her husband to take another wife was that he was a been men, but some African women have noted that rich man with lots of cattle and land, too much for one polygyny is to be preferred over stigmatized concubi- wife to handle alone. Twenty-five out of the 27 women nage. In general, little is known about the issue of considered polygyny to be better than monogamy "womens views of polygyny in the broad context of Other studies have also suggested that traditional their perceptions of marriage and womens issues as a (usually rural, uneducated) women view polygyny whole"(Ware 1979). A survey of over 6,000 Yoruba more positively than their educated counterparts females,ranging in age from 15 to 59, from the city of Susan Whyte(1980) provides information from Ibadan, Nigeria, found that about one wife in two lives Marachi, Kenya, on the practice known as okhwenda in a polygynous marriage; the proportion for women eshiebo, in which a wife could bring her sisters or over 40 rises to about two out of three. About 60 per- brother's daughter or occasionally her mother's cent of the women in the survey reported that they brother's daughter to be her cowife. She points out would be"pleased"if their husbands took another that this often happened at the instigation of the hus- wife. They would then have some companionship and band, but the Mariachi view of it is that it is the someone with whom they could share housework, woman who brings herself a cowife"(p. 137). Whyte husband care, and child care. Only 23 percent states that polygyny has become more problematic in expressed anger at the idea of sharing with another today' s deteriorating economic climate. Many men wife. More traditionally oriented women without edu still want the respect they can gain by having many cation(67 percent)were more favorable toward polyg-. wives and children, but women emphasize the diffi- yny than women with some formal education(54 culties of polygyny due to a shortage of land and labor and an increasing need for money for school fees, Ware(1979)suggests that sharing economic and clothing, labor, and food. Whyte points out that while domestic responsibilities among women might wel polygyny, in her opinion, has never been popular with women, it is even less so at pre esent because the that the sharing of a husband might be viewed as a resources of individual men are becoming less ade. detriment or an advantage, depending on the extent to quate; thus, there is an increase in competition for the which husbands as such are considered to be assets or already scarce resources of the polygynous husband liabilities. Some Ibadan wives see little value in having Studying another Kenyan society, Monique Mul- a husband except as a" recognized progenitor for their der(1992) found that married women have strong children"(1979: 190).When these women, who live in a views concerning polygyny that are generally posi society where 99 percent of women marry by the age of tive. Seventy-six percent of the women in her survey 40, were asked whether there was a need for a husband polygyny favorably. In general, cowie rela apart from his role in begetting children, 47 percent tions are not full of tension, nor do polygynously mar- Pb own a re equal to men, they often did better yny (Mulder 1989 1 seductive costs.Neither women answered that women do not need husbands. They felt ried women suffer repro that there were many disadvantages in marriage, and nor their parents expressed antipathy toward polyg- women on their own. Those women who did consider other Whatever the value orientation is toward polyg oles played by husbands (in addition to progenitor) yny, the reality is that throughout Africa, most men mentioned companionship most frequently. turn out to be monogamous. A recent study among the Around the time of the Ware study a survey was Zulu of southern Africa by Moller and Welch (1990) undertaken in western Kenya by a Catholic nun and a helps explain this male point of view regarding polyg Kenyan nurse. Lwanga (1976)reports the following yny. Among the Zulus, polygynist account for about concerning their discussions of polygyny with 27 10 percent of rural married men. There continues to be Samia women living in a remote rural area of western a shift from overt polygyny to covert polygyny or Kenya. Many women felt that polygyny can be a monogamy owing to several factors. Among these are happy and beneficial experience if the cowives cooper- (1)a shortage of agriculturally productive land and ate with each other. They caution, however, that this is other economic changes; (2)social pressures to accept not likely to happen unless the husband allows the the values of politically and socially dominant whites senior wife the chance to look for a second wife. Then and 3)the inflexible teachings and policy of Christian she may choose a relative or the daughter of another mission churches. From their research surveys, Moller family of which she approves. If he should require a and Welch(1990)found that a majority of monogamist
210 MARRIAGE AND GENDER RELATIONS and polygynist men reported both economic advan ostpartum, but tages and disadvantages to the practice of polygyny, he belief common in polygynous societies that men although most men professed to favor monogamy In need more than one woman. Sexual variety may be he views of the majority who favored monogamy, the achieved by acquiring another wife Polygynous men main disadvantage of polygyny, as they saw it, was an are more likely to turn to one of their other wives for economic one. They found, for example, that the gratification while another one is sexually abstaining notion of the large polygynous family as a social secu- Only 38 percent of polygynous men in the rural area rity investment is now being replaced by the problems had their most recent sexual experience outside of associated with educating children during an ex marriage,and in the urban area 44 percent of polygy tended period of their life cycle. It must be pointed nous mens most recent sexual partners were women out, however, that these are view of men who are other than their wives. These data suggest that, at least faced with the prospect of polygyny in a modern econ- in this society, monogamous men are much more omy for which many of the advantages of the past are likely to have extramarital partners than are polygy- not available to them. One of the frequently men nous men However, we see the opposite pattern for tioned circumstances resulting in polygyny is the prac- female respondents. Thirty-four percent of rural tice of labor migration, in which many Africans travel polygynous wives and 47 percent of urban polyg away from their home areas in search of cash income. nous wives reported that their most recent sexual For these men, polygyny provides a solution to the encounter was an extramarital one. Only 14 percent of problem of being required to spend lengthy periods monogamous rural women and 36 percent of their away from their home families. Thus, one wife may urban counterparts reported that their most recent sex- visit the husband in town while the other one cares for ual partner was someone other than their spouse the rural homestead. Polygynist wives may also share (Orubuloye, J. Caldwell, and P. Caldwell 1990: 12) labor and keep each other company in the rural area Thus, it appears that polygyny allows greater sexual when the husband is away (Moller and Welch equality, at least in terms of extramarital sexual rela- 1990:208). tions, than does monogamy. Future research on mari- One serendipitous finding from this study was relationships within monogamous and polygynous that polygynist men reported higher-quality work households should attempt a closer examination of de lives than did monogamous men. The former had facto male and female balance of power and responsi- higher job satisfaction, more voluntary retirement, bet- bilities within these two marital forms ter health, and higher degrees of social adjustment, including a better adjustment to aging and retirement ery significantly, Moller and Welch discovered that in DELOCALIZED POLYGYNY a mood index analysis, polygynous men overall felt less lonely and neglected than other men in the survey The fate of polygyny in Africa is very much caught up It may be that part of this positive mood adjustment in the processes of moral and economic change. The can be seen by reference to spiritual values in Zulu churches vary considerably in terms of overt condem- society as men age. The older cohorts of returned nation of polygyny, with the mainstream churches migrants are more likely to be traditionally oriented being predominantly opposed and many independent lifestyles,sinceitmaybeselytochoosepolygynouschurchesbeingfavorabletowardpolygyny.commu- tors. More research needs to be done in this area, how- polygyny have changed as well, and elders and other ever, before onclude that the practice of traditional moral leaders have lost the authority they polygyny per se has a directly positive effect on the had in the past when practices like polygyny were morale of these men closely monitored. One finds, for example, that toda There is not much evidence available to conside in Kenya, many men who traditionally would not whether polygyny does cut down on male infidelit have been considered acceptable as polygynist in but one recent study conducted in Nigeria by Orubu- terms of their economic resources are practicing polyg loye, Caldwell, and Caldwell (1990) suggests that it ly because community sanctions no longer operate might In this extensive survey done in the Kiki dis- with the same degree of salience as in the past. As tra trict of Nigeria, the researchers found that for monga- ditions change and the modern economy and moral mous males in the rural area, 56 percent of their most order impose themselves more and more into the recent sexual experiences were outside their mar- everyday lives of people, polygyny increasingly takes riages;this figure rose to 67 percent in the urban area on a negative ambiance. Much of the current female Contributing to this practice is sexual abstinence dur- opposition to polygyny may in fact be related to the
AFRICAN POLYGYNY: FAMILY VALUES AND CONTEMPORARY CHANGES 211 irresponsible practice of this custom by many men in ter group over the parent church's opposition to polyg modernizing circumstances throughout the Africa yny(Sunday Nation, January 6, 1985) continent. A few examples drawn from the Kenya media will provide readers with a sense of the tone surrounding what can be thought of as a public dis- GROWING UP IN A POLYGYNOUS HOME course concerning doubts over the suitability of polyg ny in contemporary times In general, our interviews revealed that East Africans Kilbride and Kilbride (1990), in discussing the have both positive and negative memories about modernization of tradition in East Africa, present growing up in polygynous homes. Although jealousy excerpts from newspapers and magazines published and conflict were present, especially between cowives in Nairobi, Kenya. The gist of the polygyny debate as concerning economic injustices, this was less likely to seen in mass media discourse will be presented here be the case when the polygynous home was a wealthy Many Western-educated, urban Kenyan women no one. Importantly, in keeping with traditional values, longer find polygyny acceptable. One prominent whether talking about the past or the present, more female Kenyan politician, in her address at a seminar positive impressions about life in a polygynous home on"Women and the Church, " urged that the churches as parents or as children were given if the family was ban polygyny, which she described as"more danger- rich. Two cases from Kenyan research will illustrate ous than malaria"(Daily Nation, May 18, 1985). She this variation was, however, compassionate with the plight of single The first case deals with the recollections of a Ugan women who, because of an imbalance in the sex ratio, dan woman, here called Marjorie, who is 40 years old found themselves chasing after other womens hus. she is a high school graduate whose father is a wealthy bands or settling for second or third wives. As the fol- agricultural officer. He has four wives and 25 children lowing argument from a male Kenyan politician will Her own mother was the senior wife. Before taking a illustrate, modern educated men tend to be mor second wife, her father provided her mother with her favorable to polygyny. In his view, foreign influences own home and land near to where two of her other chil- are responsible for present social ills. To counteract dren were attending boarding school. When Marjorie this moral decline, he suggests returning to their tradi was in sixth grade, she went to live with her father and tions, including polygyny, which he believes would is second wife and her children so that she could help reduce the number of unmarried women roam- attend school nearby their residence. Interestingly, she ing the streets as prostitutes"(Daily Nation, July 9, states that although her stepmother gave her a lot of 1985) chores to do, she didnt mind She liked her stepmother Unlike the Roman Catholic Church, which is offi- whom she described as being good. On school holic cially opposed to the practice of polygyny, some Protes- she went back to her own mother, who was even stricter tant churches are becoming more tolerant of it. A bishop with her because it was her mother s job to teach Mar of the Anglican Church in Kenya stated that while jorie all her female duties. Marjorie states that although monogamy may be ideal"for the expression of love their family was large, everyone always had enough to between a husband and wife, " the church should eat and plenty of land to farm. The children treated each sider that in certain cultures polygyny is socially accept- other well. "Myself and the stepsisters, we don't say able and that the belief that polygyny is contrary to who is your mother? ' We are all like sisters and broth- Christianity was no longer tenable(The Weekly Review ers"(Kilbride and Kilbride 1990: 207). As behooves a August 1, 1987). The Catholic Archbishop of Nairobi, good polygynous husband, her father showed no who himself was raised in a polygynous home, ex favoritism--at least as could be perceived by marjorie pressed the Catholic Church,s opposition to it when he She stated that she never knew who her father loved spoke to a gathering of young people about the sacra st. The cowives also followed the traditional custom ment of marriage. He admonished them to do"the will of giving respect and deference to the senior wife. Mar- of God"rather than blindly following their customs. As jorie also reported that she liked her father very much he put it, "God wanted one Adam and one Eve, not one Our next account is a less favorable recollection of Adam and three Eves nor five Adams and one Eve" growing up in a polygynous home by a man in his (Daily Nation, February 11, 1985). Sometimes differences mid-20s, here called Robert. His father, like Marjorie's, of opinion regarding polygyny erupt within splinter also has four wives. Unfortunately, this mans eco- groups of a particular religion. The Friends Church in lomic situation is much less favorable. He has 31 chil- Kakamega, Kenya, for le, faced a leadership cri dren, thus far, with his youngest being less than one sis between its"old and monogamist founders"and its year old. Also, Robert's mother is not in as favorable a young and polygamist followers"who formed a splin position economically or in terms of respect in that she
212 MARRIAGE AND GENDER RELATIONS is his fathers second wife. In Roberts early child whole are unsympathetic to their attempts to have hood, his father had only two wives, both of whom careers, to seek education beyond the B.A., and to Robert called"mother It was not until he was seven practice independent lifestyles frequently associated years old that he began to question his status. When he with modern, professional occupations. At the same was eight years old, he recollects going to school for time, many women feel that men involve themselves awhile with the sons of the first wife. It was not a too frequently with other women (mistresses) while pleasant memory in that his stepbrothers beat him, they expect their wives to remain at home ca ring for made him carry their books to and from school, and the children. There is also the problem of wife beating, forced him to get money from his mother to give to which women have traditionally agreed is the"right them for their own lunches. He finally refused to go to of the husband if they do not perform their duties or that school, which was 10 kilometers away, so he was act properly. Although many professional women are transferred to a school near his home. After fourth opting against marriage, they have not given up on grade, he states that he was forced to go to another pri their desire to have children. For this reason, suc mary school near the home of the fourth wife. While women frequently find themselves in a position of living at her house, which is 15 miles from the home of seeking out a man, married or single, to give them a his mother and the other two wives, who all share the child or to become a father to that child or to one that same compound, Robert complains that he was forced to do many household chores, including cooking Perlez( 1991)reports the views of a Miss cleaning, and tending livestock, at times going with- Makuku, who is a postgraduate student in French at out food from breakfast until dinner. He also disliked Nairobi University and a former schoolteacher. She the fact that when he had friends over to visit, his step- sees herself ten years from now as a single parent mother would say that he wasn't living in the home of wi ith a male companion, but not a husband. She his mother. "It made me feel that I was born some- points out that this is a choice made not only by her where else but was now under the control of another self but by many of her over-30 female friends with person"(Kilbride and Kilbride 1990: 208) occupations ranging from television producers to As an adult, Robert understands that there are professors. For example, many educ ated women a some advantages to polygyny, such as sharing the delaying marriage; more than half of the 16 female orkload, protection from outsiders, helping to care law graduates of Nairobi University in 1980 are still are sick, and preventing childlessness and thus gain- asle. Miss Makuku admonishes that traditionally, for other family members when they or their children an men looked after their women, but today the ing immortality through ones children. Nevertheless, average man contributes to the rent if one is lucky the disadvantages he has experienced personally, while using the rest for mistresses and beer. Accord which he sees as being mainly the result of a lack of ing to Perlez, anecdotal evidence from Kenya sufficient economic resources on the part of his father, abounds concerning professional women who have who married more wives and had more children than been previously married but have left their husband he could support, makes him unfavorable to polygyny because they cannot tolerate the restrictions imposed and what he perceives to be its many problems of jeal- by ousy and conflict over insufficient resources for food tionship of some kind with a man. Miss Makuku clothing, and education. He reports that during times points out that it is difficult to raise a child without of food shortage, each mother looked after only her the financial help of a man. By the age of 35, however, own children rather than sharing with the others, most of her economically self-sufficient, single, while his father tended to"disappear"until the worst female friends have decided to have children even was over. In Robert' s case, we can see the workings of though they are not married. Some choose to have a traditional ideal of being wealthy enough to be a "boss them around"than would an older man. A a o modernized polygyny in that his father did not fit the hild by a younger man because he is less likel polygynist, at least on the scale that he practiced it. ond choice would be to have a child by a married There are indications that two wives would have been man, paradoxically choosing to do one of the very better for all concerned things that has turned them against marriage to ith Ve see here that exclusive monogamy, in Keny MONOGAMY RECONSIDERED in the United States, does not appear to be working very well. There seems to be a tendency for polygyny a very different definite pattern is visible in Kenya to be reinvented as more and more single women have today: professional women rejecting marriage alto- relationships with married men. Perhaps these men gether because many of them feel that men on the will involve themselves in the role of father to their
AFRICAN POLYGYNY: FAMILY VALUES AND CONTEMPORARY CHANGES 213 outside children. Here we have a situation, similar to although he has not involved himself because of his that described for man sharing in the African Ameri wifes opposition to polygyny. He nevertheless con- can community, developing in the East African setting fesses that at present he has numerous girlfriends and where, ironically, polygamy was, until recently, the would like to know whether ideal. Very much present in Kenya at this time is a con- him to be polygynous with a small number of wives e sciousness of the importance of having fathers for chil- monogamous with the large number of mistresses that dren. For example, the July 18, 1993, issue of the he now has. Moreover, each of his mistresses is un Sunday Nation, a prominent Kenyan newspaper, pub aware of the other women in his life and are them lished a cartoon that accompanied a story entitled elves in search of a permanent relationship. Some of Choice: The New Trend. The cartoon shows a his girlfriends do not even know that he is married woman dressed in fashionable clothing and a young boy, presumably her son, leaning against their car with a man standing beside them looking at them. The PLURAL MARRIAGE woman says, "I have everything I want, a good job, a AS A REINVENTED OPTION good house, and a good child. Why should I need a man?"The child, however, is shown to be thinking: Is it worth considering plural marriage as a morally "But a daddy, we don't have. The story itself reported viable option for American men and women, particu that in nearly all their interviews, women stated that larly in light of our national family crisis and in- they would find it acceptable having children without creased calls for cultural pluralism? A myriad of legal ge if they were financially secure. One woman considerations, including property ownership, inher- who is a company executive replied that she had itance, child disciplinary obligations, and health reached the age where she was ready for a child, but insurance, to name but a few, will require special not a husband, since she wanted to advance in her study and legal adjustment. In the United States, career and found that men were usually intolerant of onogamous companionate marriage, though ambitious women, Many of the single women inter- viewed as an ideal, is not in the majority. In fact, given our high divorce rate, it can be argued that the married. While encouraging his mistress to have his United States now has a high rate of informal,unrec hild,he may promise that he is going to divorce his nized polygyny at least as we would infer from wife,which ten years later she finally realizes will Remi Clignet's comment that"Africans argue that never happen. At this point, the woman may feel that remarriage subsequent to a divorce is merely another it is too late for her, given her increasing age, to meet form of polygyny, one less desirable because it anyone else. The article does not offer any analysis of imposes on Westerners succession and discontinuity this situation in terms of whether or not, on balance, n married life"(1970: 3) Blended families are known quasi-polygyny is more or less desirable than divorce, to be particularly stressful for children, given the especially when children are involved mbiguous status of this rapidly emerging famil The interview material with Kenyan men in Kil structure. Once marriage is consistently considered om frustration and difficulties associated with the current ple will come to see that seemingly radical forms of ituation. One man in his late 40s, for example, now improper plurality are actually"smart oppor- responded to the AIDS crisis by curtailing his outside tunities for children to have multiple parents and girlfriends so that he had a long-standing relationship often access to a better life through foster parents or with a single woman from an ethnic group other than blended parents who are added to their biological his own. He required secrecy from this woman so that famil his wife and family would not be offended. The child that resulted from this relationship, who is now a young girl, is presently being raised entirely by her REFERENCE mother, since my informant no longer gives her any support. In spite of this, he seemed to feel that every Clignet,R. 1970. Many Wives, Many Powers: Authority thing would be fine for his daughter. Another infe Power in Polygynous Families. Evanston, IL: Northw mant who spoke openly about polygyny is a wealthy Kenyan who is Roman Catholic and states that Fisher, H. E. 1992. Anatomy of Love: The Natural History of although he does not himself favor polygyny, he is not Monogamy, Adultery, and Divorce. New York: W. W. Nor opposed to others practicing it. He believes that it is,in fact, a fairly common practice. He himself has been Ford, C, and F Beach. 1951. Patterns of Sexual Behavior. New "offered"a wife when he has gone into rural areas, York: Harper row
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