Contemporary China Center, Australian National University Courtship, Love and Premarital Sex in a North China village Author(s): Yunxiang Yan Source: The China Journal, No. 48(Jul, 2002), pp. 29-53 Published by: Contemporary China Center, Australian National University StableUrl:http://www.jstor.org/stable/3182440 Accessed:14/10/200816:11 Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of JSTOR's Terms and Conditions of se, available at http://www.jstororg/page/info/about/policies/terms.jspJstOr'sTermsandConditionsofUseprovidesinpartthatunless you have obtained prior permission, you may not download an entire issue of a journal or multiple copies of articles, and you may use content in the JSTOR archive only for your personal, non-commercial use Please contact the publisher regarding any further use of this work, Publisher contact information may be obtained at http://www.jstor.org/action/showpublisher?publishercode=ccc Each copy of any part of a JSTOR transmission must contain the same copyright notice that appears on the screen or printed page of such transmIssion JStOR is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 to build trusted digital archives for scholarship. We work with the cholarly community to preserve their work and the materials they rely upon, and to build a common research platform that information about JSTOR, please contact suppo Contemporary China Center, Australian National University is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to The China ournal
Contemporary China Center, Australian National University Courtship, Love and Premarital Sex in a North China Village Author(s): Yunxiang Yan Source: The China Journal, No. 48 (Jul., 2002), pp. 29-53 Published by: Contemporary China Center, Australian National University Stable URL: http://www.jstor.org/stable/3182440 Accessed: 14/10/2008 16:11 Your use of the JSTOR archive indicates your acceptance of JSTOR's Terms and Conditions of Use, available at http://www.jstor.org/page/info/about/policies/terms.jsp. JSTOR's Terms and Conditions of Use provides, in part, that unless you have obtained prior permission, you may not download an entire issue of a journal or multiple copies of articles, and you may use content in the JSTOR archive only for your personal, non-commercial use. Please contact the publisher regarding any further use of this work. Publisher contact information may be obtained at http://www.jstor.org/action/showPublisher?publisherCode=ccc. Each copy of any part of a JSTOR transmission must contain the same copyright notice that appears on the screen or printed page of such transmission. JSTOR is a not-for-profit organization founded in 1995 to build trusted digital archives for scholarship. We work with the scholarly community to preserve their work and the materials they rely upon, and to build a common research platform that promotes the discovery and use of these resources. For more information about JSTOR, please contact support@jstor.org. Contemporary China Center, Australian National University is collaborating with JSTOR to digitize, preserve and extend access to The China Journal. http://www.jstor.org
COURTSHIP. LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX IN A NORTH CHINA VILLAGE Yunxiang Yan Because the union of a young couple affects the institution of the family, establishes an alliance between two kin groups and can have repercussions on social standing any traditional societies parents control their children's marriage choices, and romantic love normally plays only an indirect role, if at all.' In the modem age, as is well known, there has been a worldwide shift away from arranged marriages. New pattems of courtship based on free choice by young couples have emerged as a consequence of social and economic changes that encompass formal education, urbanization, migration, non-family employment, and individual access to wage incomes. The triumph of free-choice marriages is a global development, and China is no exception The paper is based on fieldwork supported by the National Science Foundation, the Wenner- Gren Foundation, and the International and Overseas Studies Program at UCLA. I owe special thanks to Anita Chan, Jonathan Unger and three anonymous reviewers for their an earlier draft See, e. g, William J. Goode, The Theoretical Importance of Love", American Sociological brary,1959),pp.38-47. william J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns(New York: The Free Press 1963); Michael Mitterauer and Reinhard Sieder, The Europ Family: Patriarchy to Partnership from the Middle Ages to the Present(Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1982). Chs 5 and ntoine Prost, "Public and Private Spheres in France", in Antonie Prost and Gerard Vincent(eds), A History of Private Life, Vol. 5(Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1991),pp. 1-143: Paul Rosenblatt and Paul Cozby, Courtship Patterns Associated wit Freedom of Choice of Spouse, Journal of Marriage and the family, Vol. 34(1972), pp 689-95; and Arland Thornton and Hui-Sheng Lin(eds), Social Change and the family in Taiwan( Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994). Deborah Davis and Stevan Harrell, " Introduction: The Impact of Post-Mao Reforms on Family Life", in Deborah Da Chinese families in the Post-Mao berkeley: University of California Also see the essays in Davis and also william Parish and Mart Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1978) THE CHINA JOURNAL. NO, 48. JULY 2002
COURTSHIP, LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX IN A NORTH CHINA VILLAGE* Yunxiang Yan Because the union of a young couple affects the institution of the family, establishes an alliance between two kin groups and can have repercussions on social standing, in many traditional societies parents control their children's marriage choices, and romantic love normally plays only an indirect role, if at all.' In the modem age, as is well known, there has been a worldwide shift away from arranged marriages. New patterns of courtship based on free choice by young couples have emerged as a consequence of social and economic changes that encompass formal education, urbanization, migration, non-family employment, and individual access to wage incomes. The triumph of free-choice marriages is a global development,2 and China is no exception.3 The paper is based on fieldwork supported by the National Science Foundation, the WennerGren Foundation, and the International and Overseas Studies Program at UCLA. I owe special thanks to Anita Chan, Jonathan Unger and three anonymous reviewers for their insightful and valuable comments on an earlier draft. See, e.g., William J. Goode, "The Theoretical Importance of Love", American Sociological Review, Vol. 24, No. 1 (February, 1959), pp. 38-47. 2 William J. Goode, World Revolution and Family Patterns (New York: The Free Press, 1963); Michael Mitterauer and Reinhard Sieder, The European Family: Patriarchy to Partnership from the Middle Ages to the Present (Oxford: Basil Blackwell, 1982), Chs 5 and 6; Antoine Prost, "Public and Private Spheres in France", in Antonie Prost and Gerard Vincent (eds), A History of Private Life, Vol. 5 (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1991), pp. 1-143; Paul Rosenblatt and Paul Cozby, "Courtship Patterns Associated with Freedom of Choice of Spouse", Journal of Marriage and the Family, Vol. 34 (1972), pp. 689-95; and Arland Thornton and Hui-Sheng Lin (eds), Social Change and the Family in Taiwan (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1994). 3 Deborah Davis and Stevan Harrell, "Introduction: The Impact of Post-Mao Reforms on Family Life", in Deborah Davis and Stevan Harrell (eds), Chinese Families in the Post-Mao Era (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1993), p. 5. Also see the essays in Davis and Harrell; also William Parish and Martin Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 1978). THE CHINA JOURNAL, NO. 48, JULY 2002
THE CHINA JOURNAL. NO. 48 Most researchers have taken the approach of analysing Chinas family revolution by examining the extent to which political revolution and social transformation have impacted on the family, or, as in a 1995 study by Martin K Whyte, they have used the changing patterns of courtship to gauge social and economic changes in the larger society. It remains unclear from these studies how individuals feel, experience and exercise the freedom of spouse selection rc. The increasing importance of intimacy in courtship is a major finding of my ecent research on changing patterms of rural courtship in northeast China. While of the trends generalized by Parish and whyte in the 1978 study in rural southern China, particularly the shift from arranged marriages to free choice, my study reveals some important developments in the direction of intimacy, emotionality and individuality that set the present apart from the patterns found in the 1970s. Since the early 1980s, fiances have been able to explore new ways of emotional expression, to cultivate intense attachments to one another and, increasingly, to engage in premarital sex. The focus of change has shifted, in short, from the young people' s pursuit of greater autonomy during the 1950s and 1970s to this new generations experience during the 1980s and 1990s of love and intimacy, which in turn has profoundly influenced the rise of individuality among rural youth In the following pages I will briefly introduce the field site and the changing patterns of spouse selection and courtship from 1949 to 1999. Next I will examine the increasing availability of social space over the past five decades and will explore three aspects of the newly developed intimacy in courtship: the emphasis on emotional expressivity and communicational skills, new images of an ideal spouse, and the phenomenon of post-engagement dating that involves premarital sex in many cases. I conclude the article with a discussion of the implications of the increasing intimacy in courtship See, e. g. Elisabeth Croll, The Politics of Marriage in Contemporary China( Cambridge Cambridge University Press, 1981); Deborah Davis and Stevan Harrell(eds) Families in the Post-Mao Era: Marion Levy, The Family Revolution in Moder (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1949); and Judith Stacey, Patriarchy and m china Revolution in China(berkeley: University of California Press, 1983) s Martin King Whyte, "From Arranged Marriage to Love Matches in Urban China", in Chin Chun Yi(ed ) Family Formation and Dissolution: Perspectives from East and West(Taipei: 6 See Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Cont 7 For changes in other dimensions of private life in Xiajia village such as the conjuga elationship, gender roles, privacy and sociality, management of family property, support of ne elderly and birth planning, see Yunxiang Yan, Private Life under Socialism: Love, Intimacy, and Family Change in a Chinese Village, 1949-1999( Stanford: Stanford ing in 2003)
30 THE CHINA JOURNAL, NO. 48 Most researchers have taken the approach of analysing China's family revolution by examining the extent to which political revolution and social transformation have impacted on the family,4 or, as in a 1995 study by Martin K. Whyte, they have used the changing patterns of courtship to gauge social and economic changes in the larger society.5 It remains unclear from these studies how individuals feel, experience and exercise the freedom of spouse selection. The increasing importance of intimacy in courtship is a major finding of my recent research on changing patterns of rural courtship in northeast China. While confirming a continuation of the trends generalized by Parish and Whyte in their 1978 study in rural southern China, particularly the shift from arranged marriages to free choice,6 my study reveals some important developments in the direction of intimacy, emotionality and individuality that set the present apart from the patterns found in the 1970s. Since the early 1980s, fiances have been able to explore new ways of emotional expression, to cultivate intense attachments to one another and, increasingly, to engage in premarital sex. The focus of change has shifted, in short, from the young people's pursuit of greater autonomy during the 1950s and 1970s to this new generation's experience during the 1980s and 1990s of love and intimacy, which in turn has profoundly influenced the rise of individuality among rural youth. In the following pages I will briefly introduce the field site and the changing patterns of spouse selection and courtship from 1949 to 1999. Next I will examine the increasing availability of social space over the past five decades and will explore three aspects of the newly developed intimacy in courtship: the emphasis on emotional expressivity and communicational skills, new images of an ideal spouse, and the phenomenon of post-engagement dating that involves premarital sex in many cases. I conclude the article with a discussion of the implications of the increasing intimacy in courtship.7 4 See, e.g., Elisabeth Croll, The Politics of Marriage in Contemporary China (Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1981); Deborah Davis and Stevan Harrell (eds), Chinese Families in the Post-Mao Era; Marion Levy, The Family Revolution in Modern China (Cambridge: Harvard University Press, 1949); and Judith Stacey, Patriarchy and Socialist Revolution in China (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1983). Martin King Whyte, "From Arranged Marriage to Love Matches in Urban China", in ChinChun Yi (ed.), Family Formation and Dissolution: Perspectives from East and West (Taipei: Academia Sinica, 1995). 6 See Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China. 7 For changes in other dimensions of private life in Xiajia village, such as the conjugal relationship, gender roles, privacy and sociality, management of family property, support of the elderly and birth planning, see Yunxiang Yan, Private Life under Socialism: Love, Intimacy, and Family Change in a Chinese Village, 1949-1999 (Stanford: Stanford University Press, forthcoming in 2003)
COURTSHIP, LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX A Sketch of the Field Site This paper is based on information collected during seven fieldwork trips to Xiajia village, Heilongjiang province, between 1989 and 1999. with a population lage remains a farming community, but after decollectivization in 1983, villagers' livelihoods have been increasingly tied to the market. To gain a higher profit from farming, villagers all switched to growing a high-yield maize that is used as animal feed. They sell the commercial maize to the state and to private buyers and then purchase wheat and rice for their own consumption. Despite this market strategy, the village's heavy reliance or agriculture has been a major impediment to better living standards Since the start of rural reform, the average per capita income in Xiajia has een slightly below the national average--it was 528 yuan in 1988 and 616 6n2 bee in 1990, while the national average in these two years was 545 yuan and 62 uan, respectively. Farmers faced hard times in China during the 1990s, and the living conditions of most villagers barely improved from the 1980s. Official figures during the 1990s became less reliable as the rural economy stagnated and village cadres came under pressure to inflate their achievements. For instance Xiajia's reported per capita income in 1997 was 2, 700 yuan, a figure that even the village cadres openly admitted was false. The real average per capita income in the late 1990s, according to the calculations of several key informants, stood at about 1, 000-1, 100 yuan. Since the late 1980s, seeking a temporary job in a city has been an important means to eam a cash income for a large number of villagers. For those who were too young to receive contracted land in 1983, it is a major way to survive. In 1991, 106 Xiajia residents worked regularly outside the village for longer than three months a year. The number had increased to 167 by 1994, and this trend continued throughout the second half of the 1990s. an increasing number of unmarried young women joined the pool of temporary migrant labourers, coming For a discussion of the effects on different he lds livelihoods and status, see Y unxiang Yan, "The Impact of Rural Reform on ec and Social stratification in a Chinese Village" The Australian Journal of Chinese No 27(January 1992), pp 1-23. There was no rural industry in Xiajia village during the collective period, Several grain processing factories were established in the 1990s, all of which were small family businesses. Sidelines are important source of cash income for many villagers, particularly women. By the summer of 1999, more than 30 per cent of Xiajia families were raising dairy cows and selling milk to a joint-venture Nestle factory in the county seat, and several dozer families ran chicken or pig farms. However, these sideline businesses remain small scale 10 For a more detailed account on the history and social organization of the village, see Yunxiang Yan, The Flow of Gifts: Reciprocity and Social Networks in a Chinese village (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1996), pp. 22-42 Villagers'estimations are not accurate either, as they customarily do not consider as income their consumption of self-produced foods, such as grain, vegetables and eggs
COURTSHIP, LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX A Sketch of the Field Site This paper is based on information collected during seven fieldwork trips to Xiajia village, Heilongjiang province, between 1989 and 1999. With a population of 1,492 in 1998, the village remains a farming community, but after decollectivization in 1983, villagers' livelihoods have been increasingly tied to the market.8 To gain a higher profit from farming, villagers all switched to growing a high-yield maize that is used as animal feed. They sell the commercial maize to the state and to private buyers and then purchase wheat and rice for their own consumption.9 Despite this market strategy, the village's heavy reliance on agriculture has been a major impediment to better living standards. Since the start of rural reform, the average per capita income in Xiajia has been slightly below the national average-it was 528 yuan in 1988 and 616 yuan in 1990, while the national average in these two years was 545 yuan and 623 yuan, respectively. Farmers faced hard times in China during the 1990s, and the living conditions of most villagers barely improved from the 1980s. Official figures during the 1990s became less reliable as the rural economy stagnated and village cadres came under pressure to inflate their achievements. For instance, Xiajia's reported per capita income in 1997 was 2,700 yuan, a figure that even the village cadres openly admitted was false.'? The real average per capita income in the late 1990s, according to the calculations of several key informants, stood at about 1,000-1,100 yuan. " Since the late 1980s, seeking a temporary job in a city has been an important means to earn a cash income for a large number of villagers. For those who were too young to receive contracted land in 1983, it is a major way to survive. In 1991, 106 Xiajia residents worked regularly outside the village for longer than three months a year. The number had increased to 167 by 1994, and this trend continued throughout the second half of the 1990s. An increasing number of unmarried young women joined the pool of temporary migrant labourers, coming 8 For a discussion of the effects on different households' livelihoods and status, see Yunxiang Yan, "The Impact of Rural Reform on Economic and Social Stratification in a Chinese Village", The Australian Journal of Chinese Affairs, No. 27 (January 1992), pp. 1-23. 9 There was no rural industry in Xiajia village during the collective period. Several grainprocessing factories were established in the 1990s, all of which were small family businesses. Sidelines are important source of cash income for many villagers, particularly women. By the summer of 1999, more than 30 per cent of Xiajia families were raising dairy cows and selling milk to a joint-venture Nestle factory in the county seat, and several dozen families ran chicken or pig farms. However, these sideline businesses remain small scale. 10 For a more detailed account on the history and social organization of the village, see Yunxiang Yan, The Flow of Gifts: Reciprocity and Social Networks in a Chinese Village (Stanford: Stanford University Press, 1996), pp. 22-42. " Villagers' estimations are not accurate either, as they customarily do not consider as income their consumption of self-produced foods, such as grain, vegetables and eggs. 31
THE CHINA JOURNAL. NO 48 to constitute approximately one-third of the village's out-migrant seasonal workforce. The experience of being a migrant worker, often in cities, has had a profound influence on the attitudes and behaviour of young villagers Choosing a Spouse in Xiajia village During my fieldwork in 1998 and 1999, I surveyed 484 marriages entered into by male villagers between 1949 and the summer of 1999. Following the conventional typology of spouse selection used in many existing studies, I have classified the 484 cases into three categories: free-choice matches, where young couples become engaged without the assistance or interference of a third party matches-by-introduction, where couples were introduced by a relative, friend or professional matchmaker; and marriages arranged by parents. Table 1 summarizes the findings Table 1: Patterns of Spouse Selection among Xiajia Men, 1949-99 Arranged Matches-by Free-choice manages introduction matches number 1949-59 73%28 1960-69 11%882%61 7%5 79%101 16%21 l980-89 0 81%107 19%25 132 1%72 484 For further discussion on the impact of this urban experience, see Yunxiang Yan, Rural Youth and Youth Culture in North China, Culture, Medicine and Psychiatry, Vol. 23, No. I (1999,pp.75-97 I used documentary sources to track marriage cases and then gathered ethnographic data on each of these through personal and group interviews. Documents included the 1982 and 1990 census, village household registers and records of population control in 1999. It was impossible to gather complete information about the marriages of Xiajia women, becaus there is no written record of such weddings inasmuch as when a woman marries out of the village her register is transferred to her husbands village
32 THE CHINA JOURNAL, NO. 48 to constitute approximately one-third of the village's out-migrant seasonal workforce. The experience of being a migrant worker, often in cities, has had a profound influence on the attitudes and behaviour of young villagers.12 Choosing a Spouse in Xiajia Village During my fieldwork in 1998 and 1999, I surveyed 484 marriages entered into by male villagers between 1949 and the summer of 1999.'3 Following the conventional typology of spouse selection used in many existing studies, I have classified the 484 cases into three categories: free-choice matches, where young couples become engaged without the assistance or interference of a third party; matches-by-introduction, where couples were introduced by a relative, friend or professional matchmaker; and marriages arranged by parents. Table 1 summarizes the findings. Table 1: Patterns of Spouse Selection among Xiajia Men, 1949-99 Arranged Matches-by- Free-choice Total marriages introduction matches number % N % N % N of cases 1949-59 73% 28 24% 9 3% 1 38 1960-69 11% 8 82% 61 7% 5 74 1970-79 5% 6 79% 101 16% 21 128 1980-89 0 81% 107 19% 25 132 1990-99 0 64% 72 36% 40 112 Total 42 350 92 484 12 For further discussion on the impact of this urban experience, see Yunxiang Yan, "Rural Youth and Youth Culture in North China", Culture, Medicine and Psychiatry, Vol. 23, No. 1 (1999), pp. 75-97. 13 I used documentary sources to track marriage cases and then gathered ethnographic data on each of these through personal and group interviews. Documents included the 1982 and 1990 census, village household registers and records of population control in 1999. It was impossible to gather complete information about the marriages of Xiajia women, because there is no written record of such weddings inasmuch as when a woman marries out of the village her register is transferred to her husband's village
COURTSHIP LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX This information clearly demonstrates a shift toward free-choice matches ger the past five decades, from a mere 7 per cent in the 1960s to 36 per cent in the 1990s. This trend was accompanied by a sharp decline in arranged marriages-from a dominant 73 per cent in the 1950s to a mere ll per cent in the 1960s and none at all in the 1990s but table 1 also shows that the majority of Xiajia villagers throughout the past four decades have been introduced to their spouses by an intermediary Such a tripartite classification is commonly used in studies of spouse selection in China. 4 However, this typology cannot reflect the complexity of matches-by-introduction. In practice, the formal introduction often results from previous interactions between a young man and woman. In some cases parents exercise a heavy influence though the intermediary, and in others the introduction is only a formality after the young couple has already started a romantic courtship in private. Yet there are also cases where parents and the young people reach a compromise. As Parish and Whyte observed:"In most cases mate choice involves double approval and a double veto power; both the young people and their respective parents must agree. Few young people are pressured into a match and few couples marry in defiance of parental wishes" I5 To focus on the actual decision-making practices, I have followed the approach previously used by Parish and Whyte and have reclassified the 484 cases in my survey into two categories. The first is"youth dominance, which includes both cases of free choice and of matches-by-introduction in which the couple played the dominant role or took the initiative. The second category, parental dominance", covers both arranged marriages and matches-by introduction in which the parents played the dominant role. The results of this eclassification are shown in Table 2 Table 2: Dominance in Spouse Selection in Xiajia Village, 1949-99 1949591960691970-79198089199099 Total Parents 87% 38% 28% 25% 13% 62% 72% 75% 76% (38) (74) (128) (132) (112)(484) See, e.g., Xu Anqi(ed ) Shiji zhe jiao Zhongguoren de aiging he hunyin(Love and Marriage among the Chinese at the Turn of the Century)( Beijing: Zhongguo shehui kexue Chubanshe, 1997) Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China, p. 173
COURTSHIP, LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX This information clearly demonstrates a shift toward free-choice matches over the past five decades, from a mere 7 per cent in the 1960s to 36 per cent in the 1990s. This trend was accompanied by a sharp decline in arranged marriages-from a dominant 73 per cent in the 1950s to a mere 11 per cent in the 1960s and none at all in the 1990s. But Table 1 also shows that the majority of Xiajia villagers throughout the past four decades have been introduced to their spouses by an intermediary. Such a tripartite classification is commonly used in studies of spouse selection in China.'4 However, this typology cannot reflect the complexity of matches-by-introduction. In practice, the formal introduction often results from previous interactions between a young man and woman. In some cases parents exercise a heavy influence though the intermediary, and in others the introduction is only a formality after the young couple has already started a romantic courtship in private. Yet there are also cases where parents and the young people reach a compromise. As Parish and Whyte observed: "In most cases mate choice involves double approval and a double veto power; both the young people and their respective parents must agree. Few young people are pressured into a match, and few couples marry in defiance of parental wishes".5 To focus on the actual decision-making practices, I have followed the approach previously used by Parish and Whyte and have reclassified the 484 cases in my survey into two categories. The first is "youth dominance", which includes both cases of free choice and of matches-by-introduction in which the couple played the dominant role or took the initiative. The second category, "parental dominance", covers both arranged marriages and matches-byintroduction in which the parents played the dominant role. The results of this reclassification are shown in Table 2. Table 2: Dominance in Spouse Selection in Xiajia Village, 1949-99 1949-59 1960-69 1970-79 1980-89 1990-99 Total Parents 87% 38% 28% 25% 24% Young couple 13% 62% 72% 75% 76% (N) (38) (74) (128) (132) (112) (484) '4 See, e.g., Xu Anqi (ed.), Shiji zhe jiao Zhongguoren de aiqing he hunyin (Love and Marriage among the Chinese at the Turn of the Century) (Beijing: Zhongguo shehui kexue Chubanshe, 1997). '5 Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China, p. 173. 33
THE CHINA JOURNAL NO 48 Here it is interesting to compare the Xiajia case with Parish and Whyte's 1978 study. Parish and White found that parental dominance in mate choice had declined from 83 per cent in the 1950s to 41 per cent by the mid-1960s and to 38 r cent by the mid-1970s. My Xiajia survey reveals a similar trend of increased youth autonomy, as cases of parental dominance fell from 87 per cent in the 1950s to 28 per cent in the 1970s. However, this trend halted at the level of the 1970s, as parents still played a dominant role in nearly a quarter of the marriage ases during the 1980s and 1990s. Does this mean the growth of youth autonomy reached a ceiling by the end of the 1970s? To understand this phenomenon, we must take two factors consideration. First, it is unrealistic to expect the total disappearance of parental participation in spouse selection. Given that some youths even today rely on the parents to take the initiative in this, the crucial question here is to determine hether the young people agree to a given choice of spouse. To answer this some Chinese scholars use a more case-sensitive standard heir surveys, distinguishing between"parents dominate, children dissatisfied"and"parents dominate, children satisfied,. Moreover, as the terms parental dominance and youth dominance focus mostly on who makes the initial proposal in a given case these labels tell us little about the actual interactions between young men and women in the process. This is particularly problematic in dealing with the more recent cases, as virtually all engagements since the 1970s have been based on the young people's consent, which made the presence or absence of parental involvement in spouse selection less important than before The survey figures alone, therefore, cannot present the whole picture about the complex dynamics of courtship. For instance, a scrutiny of the matches-by introduction marriages reveals that love and affection also have a place in man of these cases. a finding that echoes Victor De Munck's observation of romantically motivated arranged marriages"in rural Sri Lanka. Two trends deserve close attention. In most cases of village endogamy, brides and grooms already knew their prospective mates before they were formally brought together by an introducer. The introducer, who could be a relative, a friend, a leader of the collective or even a semi-professional matchmaker, often serves as an intermediary to negotiate the amount of marriage gifts exchanged between the two families. Actually, in some cases, an introducer is called in only for ritual Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China, p. I See Xu, Shiji zhe jiao Zhongguoren de aiqing he hunyin, p. 44 18 In an excellent analysis of romantic love and cross-cousin marriage, De Munck argues that the dichotomy between romantic love and arranged marriage has prevented scholars from understanding the complex richness of the emotional world of villagers. He shows that more than 70 per cent of the cross-cousin marriages arranged by parents actually involved prior romantic love, concluding that"contrary to conventional wisdom, romantic love does play a significant role in a community where parents officially select an offsprings mate American Ethnolog ist, Vol 23, No 4(1996),p. 711
34 THE CHINA JOURNAL, NO. 48 Here it is interesting to compare the Xiajia case with Parish and Whyte's 1978 study. Parish and White found that parental dominance in mate choice had declined from 83 per cent in the 1950s to 41 per cent by the mid-1960s and to 38 per cent by the mid-1970s.'6 My Xiajia survey reveals a similar trend of increased youth autonomy, as cases of parental dominance fell from 87 per cent in the 1950s to 28 per cent in the 1970s. However, this trend halted at the level of the 1970s, as parents still played a dominant role in nearly a quarter of the marriage cases during the 1980s and 1990s. Does this mean the growth of youth autonomy reached a ceiling by the end of the 1970s? To understand this phenomenon, we must take two factors into consideration. First, it is unrealistic to expect the total disappearance of parental participation in spouse selection. Given that some youths even today rely on their parents to take the initiative in this, the crucial question here is to determine whether the young people agree to a given choice of spouse. To answer this some Chinese scholars use a more case-sensitive standard in their surveys, distinguishing between "parents dominate, children dissatisfied" and "parents dominate, children satisfied".'7 Moreover, as the terms parental dominance and youth dominance focus mostly on who makes the initial proposal in a given case, these labels tell us little about the actual interactions between young men and women in the process. This is particularly problematic in dealing with the more recent cases, as virtually all engagements since the 1970s have been based on the young people's consent, which made the presence or absence of parental involvement in spouse selection less important than before. The survey figures alone, therefore, cannot present the whole picture about the complex dynamics of courtship. For instance, a scrutiny of the matches-byintroduction marriages reveals that love and affection also have a place in many of these cases, a finding that echoes Victor De Munck's observation of "romantically motivated arranged marriages" in rural Sri Lanka.'8 Two trends deserve close attention. In most cases of village endogamy, brides and grooms already knew their prospective mates before they were formally brought together by an introducer. The introducer, who could be a relative, a friend, a leader of the collective or even a semi-professional matchmaker, often serves as an intermediary to negotiate the amount of marriage gifts exchanged between the two families. Actually, in some cases, an introducer is called in only for ritual 16 Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China, p. 174. 17 See Xu, Shiji zhe jiao Zhongguoren de aiqing he hunyin, p. 44. In an excellent analysis of romantic love and cross-cousin marriage, De Munck argues that the dichotomy between romantic love and arranged marriage has prevented scholars from understanding the complex richness of the emotional world of villagers. He shows that more than 70 per cent of the cross-cousin marriages arranged by parents actually involved prior romantic love, concluding that "contrary to conventional wisdom, romantic love does play a significant role in a community where parents officially select an offspring's mate", American Ethnologist, Vol. 23, No. 4 (1996), p. 711
COURTSHIP. LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX purposes, because the couple has already worked out all the details, including the amount of bridewealth and dowry. In the second type of introduction, couples do each other well beforehand, but they fall in love during the post engagement period. This type is more normal in cases of village exogamy, especially among couples where one of the betrothed lives far away from Xiajia Finally, even in some cases of spouse selection where the opinions of the parents dominate, couples develop romantic feelings after their engagement. In 1998, for instance, the son of an ordinary household was engaged to the daughter of the Party secretary. The son's mother favoured the engagement, which she regarded as a personal victory in establishing a powerful kinship alliance, and thus she offered a very high bridewealth. Her son initially was rather passive, merely accepting his mother's aggressive arrangements. But once he and the girl got to know one another after their engagement, he became a vigorous suitor who would do anything to please his fiancee. She taught the preschool class in the illage school, and he often accompanied her to her class, helping her to maintain classroom order and to collect the homework. Some children became confused and told their parents that they had two teachers in their class, which quickly became a local joke The Social Space of Courtship: 1950s to 1990s In their 1978 study, Parish and whyte concluded that, "in considering freedom of mate choice, the most important things are the opportunities young people have to meet or to be introduced to a potential mate". 9 This applies to Xiajia, where the availability of social space stands out as one of the most important factors in the development of romance and intimacy. After the land reform campaign various forms of meetings and public rallies became a part of village life. Many villagers belonged to Party-sponsored organizations such as the Youth League the women's Association, the village militia, and the association of poor Peasants, which held their own meetings and activities; while Party members had regular Party meetings and study lessons.2 Village youths were also mobilized to participate in various forms of public activities sponsored by the collectives, such as the village performance troupe, movie shows, sports activities and organized volunteer work According to many informants, the 1960s and 1970s were a springtime for the new patterns of courtship. The leadership in Xiajia village in the early 1960s took the lessons of the Great Leap seriously and tried to focus on agricultural production in a pragmatic manner. As a result, productivity started to improve Parish and Whyte, village and Family in Contemporary China, p. 180 For a detailed study of village political life during the collective era, see Anita Cha Richard Madsen and Jonathan Unger, Chen Village under Mao and Deng(Berkeley University of California Press, 1992). Chs 1-9
COURTSHIP, LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX purposes, because the couple has already worked out all the details, including the amount of bridewealth and dowry. In the second type of introduction, couples do not know each other well beforehand, but they fall in love during the postengagement period. This type is more normal in cases of village exogamy, especially among couples where one of the betrothed lives far away from Xiajia village. Finally, even in some cases of spouse selection where the opinions of the parents dominate, couples develop romantic feelings after their engagement. In 1998, for instance, the son of an ordinary household was engaged to the daughter of the Party secretary. The son's mother favoured the engagement, which she regarded as a personal victory in establishing a powerful kinship alliance, and thus she offered a very high bridewealth. Her son initially was rather passive, merely accepting his mother's aggressive arrangements. But once he and the girl got to know one another after their engagement, he became a vigorous suitor who would do anything to please his fiancee. She taught the preschool class in the village school, and he often accompanied her to her class, helping her to maintain classroom order and to collect the homework. Some children became confused and told their parents that they had two teachers in their class, which quickly became a local joke. The Social Space of Courtship: 1950s to 1990s In their 1978 study, Parish and Whyte concluded that, "in considering freedom of mate choice, the most important things are the opportunities young people have to meet or to be introduced to a potential mate".19 This applies to Xiajia, where the availability of social space stands out as one of the most important factors in the development of romance and intimacy. After the land reform campaign, various forms of meetings and public rallies became a part of village life. Many villagers belonged to Party-sponsored organizations such as the Youth League, the Women's Association, the village militia, and the Association of Poor Peasants, which held their own meetings and activities; while Party members had regular Party meetings and study lessons.20 Village youths were also mobilized to participate in various forms of public activities sponsored by the collectives, such as the village performance troupe, movie shows, sports activities and organized volunteer work. According to many informants, the 1960s and 1970s were a springtime for the new patterns of courtship. The leadership in Xiajia village in the early 1960s took the lessons of the Great Leap seriously and tried to focus on agricultural production in a pragmatic manner. As a result, productivity started to improve, 9Parish and Whyte, Village and Family in Contemporary China, p. 180. 20 For a detailed study of village political life during the collective era, see Anita Chan, Richard Madsen and Jonathan Unger, Chen Village under Mao and Deng (Berkeley: University of California Press, 1992), Chs 1-9. 35
and the village enjoyed relative peace and prosperity during the subsequent two ecades. The stable collective economy provided a good base for the development of a new style of public life, centring on the promotion of collectivism and socialist values, and of a new social space whereby village youth of opposite sexes could meet together in various social activities ided that ideal for and women who purposely chose to stand at the outer edge of the audience and who paid more attention to each other than to the movie screen or basketball match. Working in the fields, however, offered the most frequent opportunities for young villagers to see, talk and work for many hours together among peers of the opposite sex, especially during the busy seasons of spring ploughing, summer hoeing and autumn harvesting The collectives were officially dismantled by the end of 1983, and by the following spring villagers found themselves tending numerous small plots of farmland, working with only family members. Many villagers recalled that initially it felt odd to work apart from other villagers. The youths particularly disliked this new type of family farming because, as one of them put it, it was ooP y: younger generation, which had grown up in the late 1980s and early ing and cold 1990s did not benefit from the land distribution in 1983 and thus became landless labourers in the village. They, more than other villagers, needed to seek jobs outside the community. As noted, the experience of working in cities has had a profound influence on their values and aspirations. This has created a generational gap in village society. A 20-year-old man relates My parents al ways tell me what I should do, how I should talk with people and what kind of family I should have in the future. This is all rubbish. They do not realize how pitiful their lives are and how little they know about the world. My father has never gone more than 200 kilometres away from the village, and my mother only visited the county seat twice. They probably know no more than thirty people outside the village, all of whom are our relatives. I've worked in five cities in the past three years, including Beijing, and I am acquainted with several hundred people. Yesterday my mother tried to teach me how to talk properly with a girl, because she is trying to find a wife for me in her parents' village. But she doesnt now that I had a girlfriend when I worked in Beijing and I know everything abo women. Isnt this funny! Once in the cities, young villagers frequently have encountered urban prejudices and stereotyping of peasants. To survive in this modern yet hostile urban setting, villagers have to rely on support from their own social networks. In Yan, "Rural Youth and Youth Culture in North Chir See. e.g., Pun Ngai, "Becoming Dagongmei(Working Girls): The Politics of Identity and Difference in Reform China", The China Journal, No 42(July 1999), pp 1-18
36 THE CHINA JOURNAL, NO. 48 and the village enjoyed relative peace and prosperity during the subsequent two decades. The stable collective economy provided a good base for the development of a new style of public life, centring on the promotion of collectivism and socialist values, and of a new social space whereby village youth of opposite sexes could meet together in various social activities. Movies and basketball matches provided occasions that were ideal for courtship. As many villagers recalled, there were always a number of young men and women who purposely chose to stand at the outer edge of the audience and who paid more attention to each other than to the movie screen or basketball match. Working in the fields, however, offered the most frequent opportunities for young villagers to see, talk and work for many hours together among peers of the opposite sex, especially during the busy seasons of spring ploughing, summer hoeing and autumn harvesting. The collectives were officially dismantled by the end of 1983, and by the following spring villagers found themselves tending numerous small plots of farmland, working with only family members. Many villagers recalled that initially it felt odd to work apart from other villagers. The youths particularly disliked this new type of family farming because, as one of them put it, it was "boring and cold". A yet younger generation, which had grown up in the late 1980s and early 1990s, did not benefit from the land distribution in 1983 and thus became landless labourers in the village. They, more than other villagers, needed to seek jobs outside the community. As noted, the experience of working in cities has had a profound influence on their values and aspirations. This has created a generational gap in village society. A 20-year-old man relates: My parents always tell me what I should do, how I should talk with people and what kind of family I should have in the future. This is all rubbish. They do not realize how pitiful their lives are and how little they know about the world. My father has never gone more than 200 kilometres away from the village, and my mother only visited the county seat twice. They probably know no more than thirty people outside the village, all of whom are our relatives. I've worked in five cities in the past three years, including Beijing, and I am acquainted with several hundred people. Yesterday my mother tried to teach me how to talk properly with a girl, because she is trying to find a wife for me in her parents' village. But she doesn't know that I had a girlfriend when I worked in Beijing and I know everything about women. Isn't this funny!21 Once in the cities, young villagers frequently have encountered urban prejudices and stereotyping of peasants.2 To survive in this modem yet hostile urban setting, villagers have to rely on support from their own social networks. In 21 Yan, "Rural Youth and Youth Culture in North China", p. 80. 2 See. e.g., Pun Ngai, "Becoming Dagongmei (Working Girls): The Politics of Identity and Difference in Reform China", The China Journal, No. 42 (July 1999), pp. 1-18
COURTSHIP. LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX daily life, they also have turned to the opposite sex to relieve their loneliness and fears. Through these contacts, a number of young villagers fell in love while yorking outside Xiajia village, and some of them brought their partners back to Xiajia to marry. My survey shows that, among the free-choice marriages in the 1990s, more than 30 per cent involved romances entirely outside the village Even those who have not left the village have been strongly influenced by visions of modern urban life. Public activities in the village have declined since the 1980s and leisure activities have shifted to private homes owing to the rapid development of television and other means of mass media, the influx of formation and images from the cities and foreign countries has replaced the former organized sociality with a powerful but mostly imaginary space whereby villagers develop and pursue new life aspirations. In 1978 several young Xiajia villagers walked for five miles to another village to watch the first television set in the local area. By 1991 there were 135 televisions in Xiajia alone, including 8 colour sets; by the end of the 1990s, virtually every household owned a television, and some had two. While still under state control, Chinese television programming has changed profoundly to adapt to market competition. For instance, as early as 1991 I found myself watching Hunter"the American police series-in Xiajia village, the same show that i had watched in Boston several months earlier. In the summer of 1997 for several weeks I joined a small group of villagers watching a Taiwanese soap opera about love, marriage and money. The young women in particular were attracted to the comfortable middle-class lifestyle as well as to the modem values of family life depicted in the series. When older villagers had difficulties following the plot, the younger members of the audience explained the story to them, at the same time lecturing them about modern family life. In 1998 I saw two large posters of pop stars (a Hong Kong man and a Japanese woman) hanging in the bedroom of a 19-year-old, the son of an old friend The father me that his son was a fan of several pop stars and his dream was to become a professional singer. Under the impact of a global flow of information and images, the imaginary social space that villagers can appropriate has expanded far beyond the physical and social boundaries of Xiajia Ways of Expressing Love Despite the strong influences flowing in from outside the village, casual recreational dating remained an alien idea to Xiajia youth in the 1990s. any effort to attract someone of the opposite sex is meant to build a bridge to mariage,although this bridge of courtship has become much extended and widened by the standards of earlier generations See James Lull, China Turned On: Television, Reform, and Resistance(London: Routledge 1991);and Zha Jianying, China Pop: How Soap Operas, Tabloids, and Bestsellers Are Transforming a Culture(New York: The New Press, 1995)
COURTSHIP, LOVE AND PREMARITAL SEX daily life, they also have turned to the opposite sex to relieve their loneliness and fears. Through these contacts, a number of young villagers fell in love while working outside Xiajia village, and some of them brought their partners back to Xiajia to marry. My survey shows that, among the free-choice marriages in the 1990s, more than 30 per cent involved romances entirely outside the village. Even those who have not left the village have been strongly influenced by visions of modem urban life. Public activities in the village have declined since the 1980s, and leisure activities have shifted to private homes. Owing to the rapid development of television and other means of mass media, the influx of information and images from the cities and foreign countries has replaced the former organized sociality with a powerful but mostly imaginary space whereby villagers develop and pursue new life aspirations. In 1978 several young Xiajia villagers walked for five miles to another village to watch the first television set in the local area. By 1991 there were 135 televisions in Xiajia alone, including 8 colour sets; by the end of the 1990s, virtually every household owned a television, and some had two. While still under state control, Chinese television programming has changed profoundly to adapt to market competition.23 For instance, as early as 1991 I found myself watching "Hunter"-the American police series-in Xiajia village, the same show that I had watched in Boston several months earlier. In the summer of 1997, for several weeks I joined a small group of villagers watching a Taiwanese soap opera about love, marriage and money. The young women in particular were attracted to the comfortable middle-class lifestyle as well as to the moder values of family life depicted in the series. When older villagers had difficulties following the plot, the younger members of the audience explained the story to them, at the same time lecturing them about modem family life. In 1998 I saw two large posters of pop stars (a Hong Kong man and a Japanese woman) hanging in the bedroom of a 19-year-old, the son of an old friend. The father told me that his son was a fan of several pop stars and his dream was to become a professional singer. Under the impact of a global flow of information and images, the imaginary social space that villagers can appropriate has expanded far beyond the physical and social boundaries of Xiajia. Ways of Expressing Love Despite the strong influences flowing in from outside the village, casual recreational dating remained an alien idea to Xiajia youth in the 1990s. Any effort to attract someone of the opposite sex is meant to build a bridge to marriage, although this bridge of courtship has become much extended and widened by the standards of earlier generations. 23 See James Lull, China Turned On: Television, Reform, and Resistance (London: Routledge. 1991); and Zha Jianying, China Pop: How Soap Operas, Tabloids, and Bestsellers Are Transforming a Culture (New York: The New Press, 1995). 37
