现代妇产科进展2011年1月第20卷第1期 Prog Obstet Gynecol,Jan2011ldl20,No1 读者·作者·编者 浅谈如何提高论文英文摘要的书写 蒋学风”,方晓,郝丽洁 (《现代妇产科进展》编辑部,济南25001) 英文摘要在中外学术交流中扮演重要角色,是删掉) expression of CDl a and E- cadherin in cervical 中文科技期刊进入著名国际检索系统的坚实基础。 intraepithelial neoplasia 英文摘要的写作要求内容准确、语言精练、符合习1.2“目的( objective)”部分应一两句话简要交代 惯,关键是表达地道,让外国人看得明白,才能实现为什么要做这项研究,此项研究的国内外相关研究 国际交流的目的。近年来我们在编辑《现代妇产背景如何,存在什么问题没有解决,特别是一些国内 科进展》杂志英文摘要时发现,随着国内科研水平或世界首次报道的研究阐明这些内容就更为重要 的提高,国内作者的英文水平在不断提高,但作者写目的写得好不好,决定能否吸引读者继续读下去,此 作水平仍参差不齐,我们结合本刊2010年各期英文部分存在的问题是内容仅仅是简单重复文章题名, 摘要审校过程中发现的问题,就如何提高英文摘要或表达不清晰。 的书写做了初步总结。 tn: To discuss relationship between obese and o- 同绝大多数科技期刊一样,《现代妇产科进展》 vary of mice in development period, we made obesity 采用的是结构式摘要(四要素摘要),包括:目的 model by high fat diet and observe serum leptin,mm ( objective)、方法( methods)、结果( results)和结论 mpact of serum leptin and insulin in the process of ( conclusion)结构式摘要本身内容具体,层次分 mice ovary development该句表达不清晰,第二句属 明,信息量大,语言简洁准确。大多数期刊规定英于“方法”部分的内容。 文摘要的字数一般不超过250个单词,这就要求在 改为: To study the relationship between obesity 有限的字数内清晰地传递给读者文章的基本信息及 and development of ovary in a mouse model of high fat 重要结论。医学论文中,一般少用第一人称和主动 diet induced obesity. The impact of serum leptin and 语态,多用第三人称和被动语态,用以体现叙述客观 insulin on the process of ovary development was also i- 事实。所用时态需与事件发生时间一致,叙述基本 dentified 规律或具有普遍意义的结论时用现在时,而叙述研1.3“方法( methods)”部分应尽可能将实验对象 究对象、方法和结果、分析或结论只限于本研究范围(人体组织细胞或动物等)组别与例数、检测方法 或者仅是一种可能性时用过去时。 等交代清晰。有的摘要中根本没有交代实验分组或 分组交代不清,这就直接影响到实验结果的客观性 英文摘要内容方面的问题 和可信度,一篇好的摘要应让读者能从其中清晰了 1.1“标题”部分要求简明扼要,以名词短语加上 其前置和(或)后置定语构成最常见,题名主要起标解论文的大概内容。 A: The research object Randomly were divided 80 示作用,一般不应是陈述句,多不超过25个单词或 women who pregnanted unintended within seven weeks 120-140个字母,除DNA,RNA,PCR,CT等通用缩 and required medical abortion into two groups 写外,一般不用缩写,少用定冠词 改为: Eighty female who had unwanted xn VEGF expression and relation with clinical within seven weeks and required medical abortion were endometrial adenocarci- randomly divided into two groups noma作为题目,该句表达欠简洁 1.4“结果( results)”部分中应把支持结论的主要 改为: Expression and significance of VEGF in数据、统计结果列出来,而不是只给出P值。有了 postmenopausal endometrial adenocarcinoma. The(the具体数据,可以让读者有个客观的比较,表达更清 通讯作者蒋学风(1974-),本刊特邀英文编辑,暨南大学附属第一医院妇产科副教授、副主任医师,现客座德国柏林 Charite医科大学附属医院。Emal:tiger@126.com
读者·作者·编者 浅 浅 谈如何提高论文英文摘要的书写 蒋学风*,方 晓,郝丽洁 (《现代妇产科进展》编辑部,济南 250012) 英文摘要在中外学术交流中扮演重要角色,是 中文科技期刊进入著名国际检索系统的坚实基础。 英文摘要的写作要求内容准确、语言精练、符合习 惯,关键是表达地道,让外国人看得明白,才能实现 国际交流的目的。 近年来,我们在编辑《现代妇产 科进展》杂志英文摘要时发现,随着国内科研水平 的提高,国内作者的英文水平在不断提高,但作者写 作水平仍参差不齐,我们结合本刊 2010 年各期英文 摘要审校过程中发现的问题,就如何提高英文摘要 的书写做了初步总结。 同绝大多数科技期刊一样,《现代妇产科进展》 采用的是结构式摘要( 四要素摘要),包括:目的 (objective)、方法( methods)、结果( results) 和结论 (conclusion)。 结构式摘要本身内容具体,层次分 明,信息量大,语言简洁、准确。 大多数期刊规定英 文摘要的字数一般不超过 250 个单词,这就要求在 有限的字数内清晰地传递给读者文章的基本信息及 重要结论。 医学论文中,一般少用第一人称和主动 语态,多用第三人称和被动语态,用以体现叙述客观 事实。 所用时态需与事件发生时间一致,叙述基本 规律或具有普遍意义的结论时用现在时,而叙述研 究对象、方法和结果、分析或结论只限于本研究范围 或者仅是一种可能性时用过去时。 1 英文摘要内容方面的问题 1. 1 “标题冶部分要求简明扼要,以名词短语加上 其前置和(或)后置定语构成最常见,题名主要起标 示作用,一般不应是陈述句,多不超过 25 个单词或 120 ~ 140 个字母,除 DNA,RNA,PCR,CT 等通用缩 写外,一般不用缩写,少用定冠词。 如: VEGF expression and relation with clinical signification in postmenopausal endometrial adenocarci鄄 noma 作为题目,该句表达欠简洁。 改为: Expression and significance of VEGF in postmenopausal endometrial adenocarcinoma. The(the 删掉) expression of CD1a and E鄄cadherin in cervical intraepithelial neoplasia. 1. 2 “目的( objective)冶部分应一两句话简要交代 为什么要做这项研究,此项研究的国内外相关研究 背景如何,存在什么问题没有解决,特别是一些国内 或世界首次报道的研究,阐明这些内容就更为重要。 目的写得好不好,决定能否吸引读者继续读下去,此 部分存在的问题是内容仅仅是简单重复文章题名, 或表达不清晰。 如:To discuss relationship between obese and o鄄 vary of mice in development period,we made obesity model by high fat diet and observe serum leptin,insulin levels and ovary pathology changes. We also identify impact of serum leptin and insulin in the process of mice ovary development. 该句表达不清晰,第二句属 于“方法冶部分的内容。 改为: To study the relationship between obesity and development of ovary in a mouse model of high fat diet induced obesity. The impact of serum leptin and insulin on the process of ovary development was also i鄄 dentified. 1. 3 “方法(methods)冶 部分应尽可能将实验对象 (人体组织、细胞或动物等)、组别与例数、检测方法 等交代清晰。 有的摘要中根本没有交代实验分组或 分组交代不清,这就直接影响到实验结果的客观性 和可信度,一篇好的摘要应让读者能从其中清晰了 解论文的大概内容。 如:The research object Randomly were divided 80 women who pregnanted unintended within seven weeks and required medical abortion into two groups. 改为:Eighty female who had unwanted pregnancy within seven weeks and required medical abortion were randomly divided into two groups. 1. 4 “结果(results)冶部分中应把支持结论的主要 数据、统计结果列出来,而不是只给出 P 值。 有了 具体数据,可以让读者有个客观的比较,表达更清 79 现代妇产科进展 2011 年 1 月第 20 卷第 1 期 Prog Obstet Gynecol,Jan郾 2011,Vol郾 20,No郾 1 * 通讯作者 蒋学风(1974鄄),本刊特邀英文编辑,暨南大学附属第一医院妇产科副教授、副主任医师,现客座德国柏林 Charit佴 医科大学附属医院。 Email:tigerjxf@ 126. com
现代妇产科进展2011年1月第20卷第1期 Prog Obstet Gynecol,Jam2011,vo20,Na.1 晰,结果才更具说服力。 2常见语言方面的错误 如: And observed that psychological stress can sig-2.1句子错误,中式表达,不符合表达习惯,外国人 nificantly increased tumor weight(P: patients with vulvovaginal candidiasis; The lifferent electrochemical treatment doses in vitro was mean time and blood of operation b) The mean oper- significant lower than that in the control group(P< ation time and blood los 0.01) 2.2代词与介词问题On(改为in) gynaecological 1.5“结论( conclusion)”部分中应对研究结果进行 outpatients; there are significant association among(将 简单分析或说明从研究结果得到何种启发、展望或 among改为 between) fferent strain genotypes 结论,注意分寸,不可夸大、主观臆断。这部分存在 改为: Cisplatin may induce ovarian cancer cell 问题要么是罗列结果的内容,没有概括精炼;要么是 not only to autophagy but also to apoptosis改为 Displa 作者仅凭自己的主观意向推测出结论,如仅凭数十 tin may not only increase autophagy but also induce ap- 例免疫组化得出一个发病机制结论,表达时宜用可 ptosis in ovarian cancer cells更符合英语表达习惯。 能性这样的词语 2.3单复数与时态问题 Effects of adiponectin or A: High fat diet can induce nutritional obesity ir proliferation and apoptosis of endometrial cancer cell some degree; this degree is influenced by quantity (cll改为cll); The expression of II-12 in cervical intake energy. Obesity which induced by high fat diet cancer were( were 5 y was)significantly correlated with cell differentiation(P<0. 05) may disturb reproductive hormone secretion which may cause abnormal secretion of leptin and insulin an This study is a cross-sectional study about 45 women who were undergone(时态错误,改为 under- make their secretion increased. at the same time it suggests us insulin and leptin can interact each oth, went)uterine ectomy( hysterectomy合专业表达) PCO changes by affect leptin and insulin secretion e"y for benign lesion Obesity can induce abnormalities in ovaries which she tA: injections were given for each mice, twice a el.作为结论表达不简洁,有词语错误。 wedk, a total of4 times,单复数错误,表达不符合习惯。 改为: Each mouse was given twice a week, a total E* H: High fat diet can induce nutritional obesity of 4 injections to some degree which is influenced by quantity of ener gy intake. Obesity induced by high fat diet may disturb 为了更好地解决上述问题,有机会应多与英语 the secretion of reproductive hormone and increase the为母语的同行接触,多请他们修改所撰写的英文摘 secretion of leptin and insulin, resulting in development要或论文,向他们学习积累经验摸索规律。此外, abnormalities and PCO changes in ovaries 平时多看英文文献,美国 MEDLINE数据库是我们 如: Diane35 has decreased CTX- induced damage最好的老师,多模仿其写作方法及表达方式,遇到问 to the ovary and plays a certain role in protecting and题时我们也可以查阅、检索出一些相关文献的摘要 restoring ovarian function由动物实验推导结论,宜委学习它的一些表达习惯和一些词语的用法等;还有 婉表达 改为:Dane-35 may decrease CTX- induced ovari- 一些外国搜索引擎,如 google也是英语写作的好帮 an damage in mice and play a certain potential role in手,能从中发现拼写错误,并借鉴一些英语地道表 protecting and restoring ovarian function 达。只要点滴积累、持之以恒,我们的英文摘要写作 水平和表达能力就能明显提高。 (收稿日期2010-12408)
晰,结果才更具说服力。 如:And observed that psychological stress can sig鄄 nificantly increased tumor weight ( P < 0. 05 ), tumor growth rate was 58. 46% . 无具体数据。 改为:The mean tumor weight of group D was sig鄄 nificantly greater than Group C ( 1. 717 依 0. 571 vs 1. 083依0. 286,P <0. 05),and the tumor growth rate was 58. 46% . 如: The proportion of S phase cells treated with different electrochemical treatment doses in vitro was lower than that in the control group,the difference was statistically significant(P<0. 01). 重复,表达不简洁。 改为:The proportion of S phase cells treated with different electrochemical treatment doses in vitro was significant lower than that in the control group ( P < 0. 01). 1. 5 “结论(conclusion)冶部分中应对研究结果进行 简单分析或说明从研究结果得到何种启发、展望或 结论,注意分寸,不可夸大、主观臆断。 这部分存在 问题要么是罗列结果的内容,没有概括精炼;要么是 作者仅凭自己的主观意向推测出结论,如仅凭数十 例免疫组化得出一个发病机制结论,表达时宜用可 能性这样的词语。 如:High fat diet can induce nutritional obesity in some degree; this degree is influenced by quantity of intake energy. Obesity which induced by high fat diet may disturb reproductive hormone secretion which may cause abnormal secretion of leptin and insulin and make their secretion increased. At the same time, it suggests us insulin and leptin can interact each other. Obesity can induce abnormalities in ovaries which show PCO changes by affect leptin and insulin secretion lev鄄 el. 作为结论表达不简洁,有词语错误。 改为:High fat diet can induce nutritional obesity to some degree which is influenced by quantity of ener鄄 gy intake. Obesity induced by high fat diet may disturb the secretion of reproductive hormone and increase the secretion of leptin and insulin,resulting in development abnormalities and PCO changes in ovaries. 如:Diane鄄35 has decreased CTX鄄induced damage to the ovary and plays a certain role in protecting and restoring ovarian function. 由动物实验推导结论,宜委 婉表达。 改为:Diane鄄35 may decrease CTX鄄induced ovari鄄 an damage in mice and play a certain potential role in protecting and restoring ovarian function. 2 常见语言方面的错误 2. 1 句子错误,中式表达,不符合表达习惯,外国人 看不懂 如:VEGF expression in postmenopausal en鄄 dometrial adenocarcinoma. VEGF play important effec鄄 ting on tumor development and early growth of postm鄄 enopausal endometrial adenocarcinoma 有两处错误, 第一句用的是句号,但只是一个名词结构,不是句 子。 第二句中 play effect on 中式表达,根据上下文 改为:Enhanced expression of VEGF may play an im鄄 portant role in tumor development and early growth of postmenopausal endometrial adenocarcinoma. 又如:Vulvovaginal candidiasis patients. 改为:patients with vulvovaginal candidiasis;The mean time and blood of operation 改为 The mean oper鄄 ation time and blood loss. 2. 2 代词与介词问题 On(改为 in) gynaecological outpatients;there are significant association among(将 among 改为 between)different strain genotypes. 改为:Cisplatin may induce ovarian cancer cells not only to autophagy but also to apoptosis 改为 Cispla鄄 tin may not only increase autophagy but also induce ap鄄 optosis in ovarian cancer cells 更符合英语表达习惯。 2. 3 单复数与时态问题 Effects of adiponectin on proliferation and apoptosis of endometrial cancer cell (cell 改为 cells);The expression of IL鄄12 in cervical cancer were ( were 改为 was) significantly correlated with cell differentiation(P<0. 05). This study is a cross鄄sectional study about 45 women who were undergone (时态错误,改为 under鄄 went) uterine ectomy ( hysterectomy 符合专业表达) for benign lesion. 如:injections were given for each mice, twice a week,a total of 4 times,单复数错误,表达不符合习惯。 改为:Each mouse was given twice a week,a total of 4 injections. 为了更好地解决上述问题,有机会应多与英语 为母语的同行接触,多请他们修改所撰写的英文摘 要或论文,向他们学习,积累经验,摸索规律。 此外, 平时多看英文文献,美国 MEDLINE 数据库是我们 最好的老师,多模仿其写作方法及表达方式,遇到问 题时我们也可以查阅、检索出一些相关文献的摘要, 学习它的一些表达习惯和一些词语的用法等;还有 一些外国搜索引擎,如 Google 也是英语写作的好帮 手,能从中发现拼写错误,并借鉴一些英语地道表 达。 只要点滴积累、持之以恒,我们的英文摘要写作 水平和表达能力就能明显提高。 (收稿日期 2010鄄12鄄08) 80 现代妇产科进展 2011 年 1 月第 20 卷第 1 期 Prog Obstet Gynecol,Jan郾 2011,Vol郾 20,No郾 1
